Today after a frustrating and frazzled morning Over The Bridge I decided I needed to take the kids to lunch. Since we were Over The Bridge where there are chain restaurants and since my mother had endorsed it due to all the animals, we went to Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse. She did not mention that all of the animals were DEAD.
There was a restaurant in Vail that I refused to go to (even though they were alleged to put new toppings on nachos once you got down to naked chips) because I found the stuffed lion over the doorway entirely too creepy to walk under.
I have a friend in Alaska who was married to a trapper who did a little taxidermy on the side. I asked her once if he could do a weasel or marmot or some such slinky animal in a semi-reclined pose, such as one might strike while sitting on top of a piano singing "Lover Man, Oh Where Can You Be". She asked him and he explained that there are only so many manikins that are used as a base. You know, the half-spring with teeth bared, the quietly napping, the proud yet dead magestic gaze.
She is no longer married to him. I don't think there is a connection between their split and his unwillingness to taxiderm a weasel seductress. I'm not sure what I would have done with it anyway, as I try really hard not to have dead things lounging around the house.
So there we are, having lunch under the gaze of two young bear heads. I finish first and while my beloved offspring are taking their time eating I think I should take advantage of this and have a quiet cup of coffee while I wait. That way they are busy and not bugging me, and I'm busy and not bugging them.
But it has to be good coffee, so when the waitress stops by I ask her if she's a coffee drinker. She is. I ask her if their coffee is good. "Today," she tells me, "it is terrible." They have a new provider and it tastes "somewhere between burned and twice-brewed", which sounds unpleasant. I am surprised and delighted that she told me the truth and suddenly Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse is a viable option for lunch when we are Over The Bridge.
Which is saying something since I am vegan this week.
Okay, I'm not actually vegan.
But I've made it through most of the recipes so that's almost the same thing. The most remarkable thing, and the thing which would probably make a difference in the long run, is that I've been eating breakfast every day. One morning the suggestion was whole grain pancakes, recipe not included. I wracked my brain trying to figure out how to make vegan pancakes. I don't have any fake eggs and am not convinced that cooking with soy milk is a good idea (although I am weirdly okay with it on my cereal). And then I thought wait a minute, I'm not actually vegan. And made regular pancakes. I figured if it was so dang important they would have included the recipe.
Besides, I can't be vegan because I have CHICKENS and I don't want to hurt their feelings.