‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


I met Bink 18 years ago at a gallery opening. 18 years is sufficiently long enough to have forgotten why I call him Bink. To the best of my knowledge it was not derogatory.

It was in Denver and I was stuck talking to a film producer person who was very interested in himself. He's probably become mind-numbingly famous and I have missed my chance to be Mrs. Mind-Numbingly Famous Film Producer. These things happen and the world is a better place for it. So there I was, talking to this guy and looking over his shoulder searching, searching, searching for a familiar face.

AHA! Son of a friend of my mother! That's not an expletive, he really is the son of one of my mother's friends. So I blurt "Bink! Great to see you!" and excuse myself abruptly. I give him a big hug, haul him off into one of the side rooms and introduce myself. And I explain about the Crashing Bore. He understands immediately and in that luminous moment we become Friends.

He suggested we go see this cabaret act not far from the gallery and off we go. There was a song titled "The Double-Stuff Oreo Cookie Blues" and it was about how women go on a date and order the lettuce crepes and a glass of water with lemon and then go home and order pizza because they are starving. All the women in the audience were giggling and Bink was looking at me like why is this so funny? I explain it is TRUE and that often we don't eat like we normally would when we are with a man we like (sorry Chris, I was over it by the time I met you and then had to marry you so you wouldn't be able to testify against me).

He asks me what I would go eat once I was finished with my lettuce crepes and I confess that I would head straight to City Spirit for Chocolate Oblivion. Note: City Spirit closed about the time I moved away from Denver. Possibly not a coincidence.

So off we go to City Spirit and I introduce him to the fine art of flourless chocolate cake. We will now be Friends Forever. Mostly because it turns out that he doesn't actually like chocolate and so I get to eat his.

This all happened when I was at a somewhat vulnerable time in my life. I had a job that was okay but not great. I needed to find a place to live and a life to go with it. I admired Bink (cool life! cool job!) and was afraid I would become reliant on him instead of finding a life of my own. I suspect many of us have found ourselves in this position - not specifically with Bink, but in general. So I moved away to the mountains, where I got a job in Keystone.

Now there's a career move.

Anyway, we stayed friends and called each other whenever we couldn't fathom what the other gender is thinking. A translator like this is indispensable. Everyone should have one. He'd come to town and take me to dinner every time I broke up with someone, so we saw a lot of each other.

And then I moved here and he has connections here too so we STILL get to see each other. In fact he is arriving on Saturday. Which is why I am trying to lose 20 pounds by Saturday.

No, not for Bink. Don't be silly. It's because he has this girlfriend. The only reason for a male friend to get a girlfriend (or get married eventually) is so I can have a new friend. But this girlfriend is 26 years old. Granted, this is way better than last year when I first met her. She was only 25 then. Eeek.

I am not sure I want to spend time with her in my current state. But she's fun and I don't want to miss out, so if anyone has any sure-fire ways to drop 20 pounds in 48 hours, let me know. Hopefully it includes Chocolate Oblivion.

I'll let you know how it goes.


Sturdy Girl said...

Go shopping and buy slimming clothes, including some sandals with a little platform or heel) It's the only way.

tess said...


Honestly, if I knew how to lose 20lbs in 48hrs, I would have been skinny 2 days ago... LOL.

Susan said...

Sturdy Girl & Tess - First, thanks for your help. It's nice to not be alone in these things.

In comparison to the cost of liposuction, I think I'll go shopping! Also, I can't even get a hair appt. less than two weeks out - imagine how far in advance you'd have to plan for liposuction.

Hello, new sandals!