‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Thursday, August 2, 2007

goal setting

When you set a life goal for yourself, you need to make sure your daily actions reflect that goal. Some people find it helpful to summarize their goal in one word, so as to more easily remind themselves of it through the day. This has been working for me, and I'd like to share it with you.

My life goal, at this moment, is to make people who have grown kids or have no kids or who are younger than me with all the world ahead of them, wish that they could put aside their careers and their homes and their personal lives so they can be a little more like me. You know, with a couple of kids and a partish-fullish-time job and a perpetually messy house and lots and lots of laundry.

This is all a little hard to remember, so I use the One Word method. There is a yogic term for this, but for the life of me I can't remember it.

My word is "envy."

The thing I have to do most is try to stop wheezing and panting and swearing when I am out running errands with the kids in 90 degree weather. It just doesn't look enviable.

You know..... Eliminate the negative, accentuate the positive, latch on to the affirmative .... something something mister-in-between. Oh I have no idea how that song goes.

In an effort to accentuate the positive, I try to fill my days with as much stuff as possible that will make other people crazy with jealousy. Today I went with my friend to her mother-in-law's house - the house with the private beach. We spent the day playing in the water and gossiping about this and that. Our kids play together and promise to require very little attention in the coming years. They require a good bit of attention now, but that attention means that we need to spend time in the water ourselves and I'm okay with that when it's 90 out.

I am such a pansy.

When the sun is not so hot and it becomes evident that we should probably leave (the welcome mat says "oh no, not you again") I give the 5 minute warning blast and start to pack up. This is when my friend mentions that she is coming back tomorrow and would we...... I invite myself before she can finish the sentence. Since it is a private beach, we pack up our stuff enough so that the geese won't borrow our floaty toys but then leave it under a table for our return tomorrow. We can then skip up the hill unencumbered by the usual 72 pounds of towels and sunscreen. As we're getting ready to commence skipping, my friend says to her mother-in-law, "can I leave the kids here with you tonight?"

I stop dead in my tracks. Can I have heard this right? I am so jealous I can hardly stand it.

1 comment:

Love Monkey said...

I can so relate to this post.

When my kids were small and I got to spend summers by the water and outside it seemed like I had the easiest job in the the world and I loved it. Of course there was much more to that job than that of course, but at the time, I loved this particular stay-at-mom-perk.

And even so, I too was often jealous of others, the free, childless, hell - spouse-less! Oh the fantasies of one bedroom city apartments!

Still, in the midst of it all I realized how lucky I was to be able to spend this time with my children this way and I'm glad I did.

So, now I have grown children and I am single, and sometimes, I get the same kind of feeling - I think how lucky I am now to be able to do this "me" stuff...

So...hang in there.