I understand that this is both sacreligious and improbable, so I must come to terms with reality. Sincerity, Prudence, Temperance and Patience are not saying what happened, so one must only assume the worst.
She eloped in the middle of the night.
We have AGAIN fortified the fortress in case any of the other girls have boyfriends who can dig.
On a happier note, I went to Phoenix Fruit & Produce today for some milk and saw a sign for local peaches. I stood there reading the sign, struggling to commit it to memory. It said:
While I was standing there, Rachel (the owner) came up and said hi. I complimented her on the sign and, knowing that I am not quite right in the head, she asked if I'd like her to photocopy it for me. I did.
The Long Awaited Debut from
The Native Peaches
comes out 8-15-07
"Corporate Peaches still suck!" ***** - Rolling Stone
"Sweet and delicious" - Spin
for fans of PA Peaches, NJ Peaches, White Nectarines and By Design
Because where do you get signs like this? I was at Stop & Shop once and noticed a computer generated sign that said "Ruby Red Grapefruits! Delicious in juice and pies!"
I'm not kidding. Pies. Do they even read the signs? Have they ever eaten a grapefruit?
And finally, I got my 14 year old nephew to eat both eel and octopus tonight. This from a child who used to see a trip to our house as comparable to an episode of Fear Factor (Mom! They eat LENTILS! They look like CAT FOOD! AUGH!).
We tormented him with sushi last year, and this year (to our great surprise) he was adamant about trying it. Even the weird stuff (although I did con him into the octopus). So we went to Mac's Shack, over-ordered, and dined like kings. Or seals.
Meanwhile at the next table we heard a woman say "don't put food up your nose" to her child. Which made us laugh until food came out our noses.
And that, my friends, was our day.
(she photocopied it in color, so I had to include it)