I just spent the evening making Lucy's party invitations. They had to be Just Right. With lots of pink. And some kind of fairy motif. But mostly, they had to be unusual and artistic and cleverly thought out because really WHO CARES if Lucy and her friends like them??? My reputation is on the line here.
Several of the invitations are going to people whose families I am not friends with. This is a new and unnerving development. She has her own friends who are not the offspring of my friends. Frankly I am not sure how I feel about this. Because my friends know how we are and love us anyway but these are strangers to Trout Towers and I am inviting them into my home (even though the party is outside they may eventually have to use the bathroom). Whatever will they think?
Plan A: They will think what I convince them to think. They get the invitation, look it over and say "oh right, they are those ARTISTIC people. I bet their house is a holy mess because that's how creative people live. Look how creative they are! Ooh, I hope they let us inside to use the bathroom! I wonder, do they have a bathroom?"
There is no Plan B.
And now that I look at the invitations, they're not even that creative. I mean, before we had Martha Stewart they were Darned Creative. But now, not so much. I didn't do any stenciling or cut silhouettes or have an origami hummingbird fly from the envelope when opened. Then again, they did not come from Hallmark. But only because I couldn't find invitations with a fairy motif that weren't completely asinine.
Besides being anxious about putting my head on the chopping block of public opinion, I am anxious about the weather. Because if there are 10 five year olds inside my house at the same time I may possibly die.
I also made the invitations so I could have something to put in Lucy's keepsake box. The keepsake box is sort of like the running log you keep when you are thinking about firing someone. It's evidence. So when she gets older and starts complaining about her childhood I can trot out all the things in her keepsake box. Look at what I did for you! How can you possibly STILL be complaining about sleeping in a drawer when I made these awesome invitations?
It is good to be prepared.
I am also beefing up the photo albums for the same reason. The kids love flipping through them, and if they look through them enough they will come away with the impression that their lives were never dull and they never had to go to bed or take baths. Look, you used to take baths on the lawn with 6 of your closest friends!
Or maybe I'll get sued - both by my children and the people who actually created the fairy motif I just used.