‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Thursday, September 13, 2007

you are what people think you eat

A few weeks ago I met one of Lucy's friends' moms.* I've always seen her with the moms who have older kids and so I had distanced myself from her in much the same way Lucy might distance herself from those older kids. You know, they can be intimidating. She's also really pretty in a "oh golly I just woke up, do I look okay?" kind of way. Anyway, she's a nutritionist and because we look like vegetarians (we're not, but we eat tofu so people think we are) there was common ground. Granted it was disreputably gained common ground, but still.

So she calls me today to ask me a question - totally unrelated to nutrition. I had not eaten breakfast because I forgot to, same as always, and I had just placed my order at the Dunkin' Donuts drive-up when she called. I didn't recognize the number or I NEVER would have answered. Oh, the shame. So we chat as I stealthily pull up to the window. I hand them a $20 and get my stuff. Fortunately they did not say "here's your large coffee with extra saccharin, a dozen munchkins and a Bacon Lover's omelet thingy" as they handed me the bag. I whisper thanks and drive away.

When I get to my next stop I go to put my wallet away and realize I have driven off without my change. Okay, I didn't really get a large coffee with extra saccharin, a dozen munchkins and a Bacon Lover's omelet thingy and my tab was under $5.

To their credit, the people at Dunkin' Donuts did not pretend I had never been there. Nor did they fish my change out of the tip jar, muttering "oh fine then." This is good because I can be a little spacey when I'm trying to pretend to be better than I am.

I guess we can't all be who we act like all the time. Or look like who we are, or act like what we look or something like that.

Once (when I was single) I had a dream that some guy I was dating told me I was not quite funky enough to be a Dreamy Bohemian Catch, and yet far too messy to be a Trophy Wife. You know, sometimes my dreams are spot on. Yay Freud!

Anyway, the prettier-thinner-healthier-than-me mom suggested we get the kids together because she liked talking to me the other day. If this happens, believe you me I am laying it all on the table. Unless of course kickboxing has changed my life and I am only eating green vegetables and brown rice by late next week.

And if that happens, will someone please send an intervention?

*That's the mom of one of Lucy's friends, not one of Lucy's friend's two moms. It's all in the apostrophe.

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