I had the teensiest weensiest little melt down this morning. It involved crying. It involved berating everything sacred and precious. There may have been some door slamming.
Chris told Heather about it this afternoon. "It was something about her knitting," he said. The "something" was Lucy's sweater, which I am about 1/3 of the way through. It came partially off the needles in the night and I don't know who I can string up for it. It wouldn't be a problem, but I was working with some crazy loopy chenilley fuzzy yarn and I cannot for the life of me find any stitches. And because it is crazy loopy chenilley fuzzy yarn, I can't pull it out and start over. It is like knitting with gorilla glue.
Besides, it wasn't really just about the knitting. Is it ever about the thing that ignites the fuse? I think it was more about my fears. Specifically, that everything that's right about our lives is getting shoved around by.... I don't even know what. And it's coming off the needles.
Of course our life isn't REALLY coming off the needles. But it sure feels precarious sometimes. Is that just life with kids? I am afraid that our outer chaos is a sign of inner chaos, but maybe it's quite the opposite.
Lucy set me straight. She told me "Studley's sweater didn't fall off the needle and he's the one who really needed a sweater because I have these and you hadn't made him any." She is so sensible.
Ironically, this is Studley's sweater: