‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Medieval Times

Not far from Outdoor World was Medieval Times. Same structural bravado. Different gift shop.

My sister thinks it would be fun to go some night. You know, catch a little jousting, eat some turkey legs and throw the bones to the dogs. I think she's on her own on this one.

Because everyone has their thing, and Medieval character acting is not mine. For starters, the clothing looks uncomfortable. And I'm not so sure about the food. And I don't want to eat with just a knife. And my olde English is rusty.

Don't get me wrong - I like going to King Richards Faire. And I will always love my friends who are Medieval at Heart (just like I will always love my nephew, no matter how many musicals he appears in). I just don't have the house space and if I can't run out and buy all the accoutrements, why bother?

There's also the elf problem. Elves look like the Keebler Elf, right? Or do they look like Orlando Bloom? How can I be expected to recognize an elf - or know that I have Elf Ancestry - if I don't know if they are short and pudgy with cookie crumbs in their caps or tall and dreamy with no sense of humor but who cares? Medieval people need to work on some branding issues before I can get on board.

But this is the glorious thing about life, because I (no, wait, it's true!) have my own quirky things that I get all crazy about. Like croquet and the ballet and tea. And although I have no Asian Ancestry (or Asian Elf Ancestry, for that matter), I really loved hanging out at the Zen Monastery.

Seriously, the discomfort of a sweltering velvet gown with leg-o-mutton sleeves and itchy undergarments is nothing in comparison to what they do to you at a monastery. When I told you about it, I don't think I mentioned that they wake you up at 4am and make you sit completely still for, I don't know, hours before they feed you breakfast. I have been twice and would go back tomorrow if they'd let me take my kids (and teach them to sit completely still for hours). Oh, and they will whack you with a cane if you let them.

Some of my friends' husbands think I'm dorky (no, it's true). They think it's ludicrous to spend That Much Money to watch people sing, weep and then throw themselves from a tower. But then, I have never painted a team logo on my face.

See? We all have our thing. Have fun storming the castle.


thefoodsnob said...

I HAVE to believe that elves look like Orlando Bloom, or I can't believe in them at all! ;)


Susan said...

Yes Lisa, elves really do look like Orlando Bloom. Keebler Smeebler.

Liz said...

There is actually nothing more comfortable than a linen or muslin chemise - really! Bras, shmas. A nice boned corset would put victoria's secret out of business with the push and shove they offer and give you a nice trim waist to boot. I have not ever painted a team logo on my face either.