‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Jessica the Second

Dear Fine Folks at iRobot,

I searched and searched your website for the drawing you did of us, so I could share it with all my invisible friends. So many of your promo pictures show families blissfully ignoring the Roomba, but that's not what we do at all. We hold hands and smile brightly, following Jessica (yes, our vacuum's name is Jessica) around the house as she works. I was so glad to see you used it on the nice magnet included with our latest incarnation of Jessica:

Oh nothing gets by you, does it? Yes, I said our latest incarnation of Jessica because the first incarnation is lying cold and lifeless in our basement.

We tried to keep it from you. Actually, I wanted to tell you but my husband wouldn't let me. She drew her last breath a few weeks before her first birthday, which means she was still under warranty. Although he would not admit it, I think Chris was reluctant to mention it to you so he could get the Newer! Fancier! More Clever! model which is The New Jessica.

This is all sort of understandable. Who, after all, does not get something new and then immediately start eyeing the next version? Certainly no self-respecting geek.

What I can't fathom is how - even after I sent him a link to that video showing what happens when husbands give their wives The Wrong Gift - he thought giving me a vacuum for Christmas was a good idea. Because I got a lot of mileage out of the fact that the original Jessica was a birthday present. My husband gave me a vacuum for my birthday. And then he gave me its replacement for Christmas. Something is wrong with this picture, no?

But oh I loved that birthday Jessica. Our floors, how they shone!

And with the New Jessica, we don't have to fret about wires or fringe. She even successfully navigated her way around the tree skirt. And she has new hopping capabilities for when she gets stuck - although she never actually gets stuck, just impeded.

So we love the new model and have not a single regret, but I do have a few questions:
1) Is there hope for the original Jessica?* I received her in August of 2006 and my husband still won't call you.
2) Is there a way to change the voice on the New Jessica so she sounds like Rosie on the Jetsons?
3) May I use your family portrait of us on our Christmas card? Take your time deciding on this one. Christmas cards are no where near the top of my to do list.

And for the record, the first time we ran the New Jessica, we misplaced Studley. We walked through the house calling him and heard a squeaky voice behind the bathroom door say "I hid from vacuum!"

A vacuum that herds children. Brilliant.

*answer: no. They gave us false hope when we called, but when it turned out to be more than taking out the brushes and putting them back in they said "no dice." Phooey.


JAbel said...

Oh My that is funny!The first one not making it a year is sort of disturbing.Maybe it's all the cape cod sand that works it's way indoors.I also feel guilty now cause I have had a new bagless Hoover in a box for over a year and still have not used it in my apt.

thefoodsnob said...

Ooooh, I NEED a Jessica.
Cleans and herds children? Yes, I need one NOW!


Sturdy Girl said...

What is the-miracle-which is-the-new-Jessica's model number?

I have wanted one of these for a while, but I have noticed that consumer comments include many Jessica's with short lives. I hope this one has a longer one!

rain said...

heavens to mergatroid! I want a Jessica! Will a Jessica (if I had one, I think I would call it Bosley)hurt hardwood? Would it know if it was dragging along a piece of lego or a polly pockey and scratching all the way?

Susan said...

JAbel - Yes maybe it's the sand mixed with the Cheerios. She ate a lot of Cheerios. I registered this one just in case.

Yes Lisa, you need a Jessica. The herding part is a surprising perk. They forgot to advertise that.

Sturdy Girl - we got an iRobot Roomba 540. You are right, she is a miracle. A Christmas miracle. Hallelujah, amen.

Rain - Bosley will not hurt hardwood. He will suck up those little legos and Polly Pocket handbags and you can extricate them when you dump out the dust bin. Bosley will also negotiate between rugs and hardwood in a mind-bogglingly efficient manner. And he will know not to tumble down the stairs. He is sheer genius.