I know, you all hate those letters from people inventorying their successes. Which is why I am subjecting you to the one I sent last year. You know, so we can get to know each other better.
Holiday Inventory 2006
- Gift-related kitchen fires: 1
- Leaking tree stands: 1
- Christmas cards sent prior to Christmas: 0
- New child-locks on kitchen cabinets: 2
- Percentage of family members under 5 able to unlock child-locks: 50
- Percentage of family members over 5 still having trouble with child-locks: Undisclosed
- Strings of non-working lights inextricably woven into Christmas tree: 1
Next year instead of making almond brittle we've decided to give boxes of salt in case anyone else makes almond brittle and sets their kitchen on fire. Fortunately Chris appeared on the scene quickly after Susan noticed a flame and, recalling Fire Safety Week from the 3rd Grade, grabbed the salt and doused the fire. Susan - recalling the same week - stopped, dropped and rolled.
Obviously, we are reluctant to start things like holiday baking and decorating due to the fiascos of last year. That tree stand started leaking noticeably after the tree was fully decorated. We were able to get a trash bag under it so it would not rot through the floor and fall on my mother-in-law's couch, but otherwise had to let it be. We have a new stand this year, which will undergo stress tests and water-tightness tests with, say, 9,000 pounds of pressure.
So really, it's a good thing we have the chickens to write about because otherwise, we got nothin. And for that, I am grateful.