I am having light fixture envy.
We needed two new outdoor lights and I was thinking we could replace all four with something Tuscan or Zen or Mission or Early Modern Junk Heap. Actually, I wasn't visualizing Early Modern Junk Heap but hey, guess what I got? Here's the problem - I went on and on to Chris about how we should use or repurpose things instead of putting them in a landfill. And I really do feel like we need to stop discarding things just because we want something newer, shinier and Zenier. But what completely rotten luck that Chris happened to be listening at the time. I mean really, what are the odds?
So he shows up with two light fixtures he found lying around and asks if he should install them.
I say, "don't we have a credit at the lighting store?" I do not say "who has outdoor light fixtures lying around? Who?"
He points out that we have these and maybe we should use them. I make a futile argument regarding design issues. He says "I thought we were trying to save the world one light fixture at a time."
I concede the point and then begin praying for one of those coastal storms to come along and tear the light fixtures right off the house. Then it wouldn't be my fault, right? I might loosen the screws a bit, but only to minimize damage to the house.
Let's face it - it's hard to walk the walk. I do want to lessen my carbon footprint and I think even some of the more dramatic changes would be, well, sort of charming. I would totally dig a solar powered house with a composting toilet and windmill powered laundry facilities - if it's stunningly beautiful. And shiny. And new.
I am convinced that people who make massive life changes and then report on them later in glowing tales of success are lying. Or maybe not lying, just omitting. Because maybe at some point they start to like the way the light fixtures look and maybe when they see the Early Modern Junk Heap design details they feel all warm and fuzzy and proud of themselves.
Or in yet another alternate reality, maybe one person's Early Modern Junk Heap is another's Shabby Chic. It could happen, right? And don't you just know that the very minute a storm comes along and rips my lights off I will open Dwell and see those very fixtures posing in the centerfold.
And I will have to go out and buy them.