‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Friday, July 18, 2008

Oprah made me do it

Brighton just called me and asked what you do with flax seed meal. She had seen it on Oprah and ran out and bought some. Before I could answer I had to regain consciousness, having passed out from the shock.

Brighton, the woman who bought packaged lunch meats BECAUSE they have more preservatives, the woman who relentlessly mocked me for considering rice and beans a meal, the woman who has never heard of half the stuff in my pantry, just bought flax seed meal. I told her what she could do with it - and by that I mean sprinkling it on stuff and adding it to other stuff, not, you know, something else.

And all I can say is, if Oprah can get Brighton to eat flax seed meal, why are we not using her on some super secret diplomatic mission?

Another thing someone recently spotted on Oprah was a bit about how we should all do at least one fun thing every day. I could not agree more. I am the one who's brought you several posts on bumper boats, after all. And so you might say "oh sure, YOU can do fun things every day. YOU have small kids."

And if you just said that, I hope you followed it up with "good heavens, I can't believe I just said that." Because quite honestly, people who have small kids are maybe not having so much fun. They are holding on to a scrap of sanity and keeping their eye on the prize (bedtime).

What I think is interesting is how easy it is to figure someone else has it easier. I do this to my mom all the time. She'll mention that I'd maybe like to do something that she herself doesn't have time for and I respond with "What? YOU ARE RETIRED."

It's true, most of the fun things I do are with my kids: bumper boats, plays, pool parties. Strike that last one. At pool parties I spend the entire time making sure they're not drowning and I get home, wonder why I'm starving and think oh right, forgot to eat. or breathe. or chat with another human being.

So I do some fun things and some not fun things and I never really know which it is I'm doing until about midway through and I realize it is fun (or not. Really, really not). Which I guess means I should plan on doing a whole bunch of things during the course of the day, just to be on the safe side.

Which brings me to my latest life mission. The other day when I was feeling reasonably on top of the world a total stranger looked at me and said "wow, you look beat." And I whacked him with my handbag. Seriously, who says something like that?

But I think it was exactly what I needed to hear. I think sometimes I feel like I'm expected to look tired. And so I do. I get this aura of "don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'll just carry these 75 pounds of groceries myself" when really I'm just bringing in the milk. What's with that? There's this cultural thing that makes us feel like we're not contributing enough if we're not completely wrecked at the end of the day. So if we feel like we're contributing, we must be wrecked. Right?

And I kind of think that this having fun thing may somehow be involved. If I intentionally do something fun, it will give my day some perspective. It will make it less workey.

Any suggestions? Because right now I'm a little wrecked.

11 comments:

I <3 Susans Nephew! said...

Why would you tell Brighton how to even use Flax Seed Meal!
Do you know where she will serve it!
to her son!

JAbel said...

Thank You,Thank You.I was out on the patio tonight trying to think of the name of the pretty blue wildflowers that were in the mix I put on top of the wall two years ago and knew it had something to do with indigo dye I think way back and then I read your post.It was Blue Flax.Now I can buy the seeds and do the whole top of the wall.I did not associate the flower with FLAX till now.I assume it's the same plant.

jenrebecc said...

more fun equals less school paperwork
plus the need to plan way ahead for a babysitter when SNZ's are in town because that was (i'm sorry) soooooooo much FUN!

though my plus one didn't show... (actually maybe it was more fun that way, because i danced until the sweat cascaded down my face, ears, and just about everywhere else!, without concern of what a male of the species might think)

Bella said...

sometimes it's just a matter of sorting....take away all the things that don't really have to be done like laundry, (unless you have NOTHING clean) dusting, cleaning, doing dishes...and only do the things that pay like your job, fun things that make your kids say "i love you mommy", cooking yummy things. you might sleep better but at least you will have food in your belly and the knowledge you are loved.

thefoodsnob said...

Anyone who thinks mothers with young kids are only out having fun either:
A- Never had kids
B- Had kids, but said kids are too old and can't remember that sometimes you can't even use the bathroom
C- Is insane.
(Take a day, send hubby out with kids and lay on the couch and do NOTHING. Watch movies and eat garbage. It will recharge you, I promise.) You do NOT have to go 24/7, there is no such animal as Super-Mommy. We just make her up in our own heads as what we THINK we should be.
Most of all, even if they don't need it: Quiet time every afternoon, so you can sit and recharge for the time until bedtime!

Lisa

Fred said...

Leave the kids with Lord Trout (or some random stranger) and c'mon over to Chez Valet for cocktails and Nintendo wii!

Ha-Hoo said...

Dance Class is fun AND good for you. It doesn't hurt that a stranger keeps your kids in a mirrored room while you do it. I miss you when you are not there.

I don't have kids... and now I don't want to because of all your complaining!

Oh yeah, say hi to those little joy bags from me.

Susan said...

I heart Susan's Nephew - oh right I forgot - her son eats that stuff all the time and probably could have given her some recipes himself.

jabel - glad to help. You'll keep reading even though you finely found something worth while, right?

jenrebecc - see? you did your one fun thing. Now get back to work. Maybe you could fill out some paperwork for me. Note to others, Jenrebecc stopped by yesterday and found me sitting in the middle of a pile of paperwork that literally covered the couch. Gah.

bella - I like the sound of that. In fact, judging from the way my house looks, that's what I'm doing. I'm a natural.

Food Snob - amen, sister.

Fred - ooh! I have never even SEEN a wii! (see random references to Amishness).

Ha-hoo - dance class is one of the most fun things I do all week (when I wake up in time). And have you forgotten? You DO have kids.

Susan said...

jabel - finally. I meant finally, not finely. Brain going.

jenrebecc said...

no way jose. i am about to start another gugg grant app. i am all set on paperwork.

JAbel said...

I didn't even notice it was finely instead of finally and I don't have any kids.I've had this talk before online where you type words differently than what you mean.Like Now instead of Know.For instead of Four etc.I know a few authors I've met through the old NYTimes book forums including one who is an authority on Ingmar Bergman who does Now instead of Know just like me and even after we talk about it do it again.