‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Friday, August 15, 2008

in which I vacation in Mexico on Shaklee's dime

You are SO not going to believe this. Neither will my husband.

I just spent eleventy-four hundred dollars becoming a Shaklee distributor. I didn't have to, mind you. I ordered the basic package to become a distributor - and then picked out a dozen or so OTHER things I wanted. Et voila. Eleventy-four hundred dollars.

Have you heard of Shaklee? My mom's been using it since I was in middle school, which is disconcerting because that means she's been environmentally responsible for longer than me and that's just not possible. She never uses the term "offgassing" in a sentence and she never wears hemp. I have to say, she's been a really good sport all this time, what with me coming home with all my natural cleaning products as if they are something new. They're not new, they're expensive.

The basic cleaning product is SO cheap. It's like $10 or something (look how smart I am after the training!) and it makes BUCKETS of glass cleaner or multipurpose cleaner. Buckets! AND it's really really non-toxic so if my kids accidentally lick the bottle they will just say "ew."

So how did my bill get so high? No idea. I'm a trained professional when it comes to buying things. Also I'm out of shampoo. And shower gel. So I ordered some things. Like meal replacement shakes because I am chubby and I have a hard time remembering breakfast. Those two things don't seem to make sense together, but there it is. Chubby, meal-skipping Shaklee distributor. That should maybe be my tagline.

Actually, Vigilante Housewife is my tagline. That's the real reason I joined, because I want business cards that say Vigilante Housewife.

I'm not actually vacationing in Mexico. I had some friends who were hard-core sales people and they were pedaling some lotions and potions and going to Mexico on those Sales Person of the Month perk vacations all the time. It is hard to be a hard-core sales person when I spend most of my time hiding in my livingroom chatting it up with invisible friends here on this blog. They say you're supposed to stick with what you know.

I'll let you know how it goes. The truck should be pulling up in a few days with Big Boxes of Stuff. How they remain a carbon neutral company while trucking things to my door is beyond me. It's magic.

And, I heard the guy who used to own Burberry is the new dude at Shaklee. Which is also magic. And quite possibly why I spent so much money. So stylish.

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subliminal message - if you want any Shaklee stuff, buy it from me so Chris will have to sing the "I was so wrong. You are a genius" song. I love that song and Shaklee drop ships.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You should have a Shaklee party and invite all your "invisible" friends out here in blogland. We'll all come and buy things and you'll get to go to Mexico. Fishing for invitation.
-Anna