‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Saturday, August 16, 2008

so completely handy

I am not very good at this home repair sort of thing. It's a little like if Nellie Oleson were suddenly hosting This Old House. I keep having little hissy fits and walking out of a room which needs my attention but is currently winning a battle of wills. I hear myself saying "ew" a lot.

I am now using Chris' random orbit sander to take down some of the ew-ness on the walls and cabinets before I paint the kitchen. This was not my idea, because until now I had no idea what a random orbit sander was. To make matters worse, I noticed that when I use it, I extend my pinkies. Like I'm having tea.

I am such a sissy I sicken even myself.

I have two friends I think of often these days. One moved into the mother of all bachelor pads, which was literally a barn. It's lovely now. The other friend moved into an investment property which was literally a crack house. They renovated it and then sold it for even more money than I spent on Shaklee yesterday. They were then able to buy a stunning Captain's House in the historic part of town - which my friend had to renovate since the Sea Captain in question had been dead a long time and had failed to keep things up to date.

After Chris went off to work, I started getting up to speed with the sander. My arms were going numb, but I had no intention of stopping. Why clean something when you can sand it off? Everywhere I looked, there was something to be sanded. The cat is very nervous.

And then came the paint. When I asked the nice man at the hardware store, he suggested I get oil based primer. The last time I bought oil based primer Chris and I had a marital dispute. But the man explained why I need the oil base and there I was, weighing our marriage against the likelihood of peeling paint. You know how this is going to go, don't you?

Miraculously, I saved our marriage by purchasing an inexpensive paintbrush so I would not ruin one of Chris' brushes with my oil based primer. Saved our marriage for the moment, that is. Chris is still out and when he comes home later and sees what I've done you may hear his reaction from wherever you happen to be. I hope he doesn't wake you.

It won't bother me though. I'm so high on paint fumes I'll probably just get the giggles again. And eat more Oreos. And watch some Little House on the Prairie. Take that, Nellie Oleson.

1 comment:

james` said...

Haha... I have to give you credit for being handier than I ever will be! If you handed me a power sander all I would be able to do is make it a post industrial paperweight.