Today went weirdly well.
We had a play date here, which means that I had a mom I don't know very well in my house. I have a great deal of anxiety about this because, as you know, we're a little odd. So I did my best to make the house look normal and then I gave up in despair and retreated to the garden. I was there pulling weeds when the friends arrived. I came out to greet them, but was intercepted by Studley who was also intent on greeting them. He was wearing nothing, NOTHING, but a pair of ruby slippers he had borrowed from Lucy.
I don't know why I bother.
During the course of the day pretty much all our deep dark secrets trotted out and said hello. No, I don't mean the friends who came by for various reasons. I mean the little stories and assorted oddities which comprise our home. Why, for instance, we have lead rods in our yard. Why we have a sandbox with no sand despite our proximity to the beach. Why we have a woodstove in our driveway. As it turns out, our deep dark secrets, when seen in unison, are what make the Towers so lovable. Who knew?
All these things came up because it was my life's mission to keep the mom outside - things are a little topsy turvy inside these days. While we were outside, the two littlest ones decided it was fun to go into the house through the side door, cut through the kitchen and then come out through the screen door. I don't mean "through the screen door" in the usual sense of opening and closing it. I mean that they were crawling through the massive hole in what used to be the screen. And then they ran to the side door and did it again. And again. In case no one had noticed.
All the while, the mom and I chatted about this and that. She turns out to be nice. I turn out to have a streak of self-degradation and the next thing I know I am giving her a full tour of the house, including but not restricted to the "pantry" which is actually an inside staircase lined with dry goods.
File under: what was I thinking?
And then it was time for lunch. This is good because I like feeding people. It is bad because did I mention that the mom is a nutritional consultant? Had I thought about this I would have gone online beforehand and orchestrated the perfect uber-lunch. I would have my sous chef come and prep for me so I could nonchalantly toss it together. Fortunately, I hadn't thought about it ahead of time because man does that sound like a lot of work. Besides, my kids will eat anything and tend to make me look good.
And then just as I was thinking dang, this isn't as bad as I thought it would be, the mom says "should we go get ice cream?"
I don't really know what nutritional consultants do, but I think I want a consultation RIGHT NOW.