I got mail! I just received an email through the paper I write for, from someone in Vermont who's offering to loan me a goat. And I'm wondering, can she make it here by the weekend? Because we are planning a party and although we're unlikely to have pony rides, a goat would be a big hit.
What I really want to do is let it eat the honeysuckle in the back yard. It's also a milk goat, which means I can make goat cheese - something I've wanted to do for ages (okay, since last summer when I heard mere mortals can make such things). So really, I should get my own goat, since maybe you can't get a gallon of milk from a goat who's just in town for the afternoon. Except if I got my own goat I'd have to milk it myself and I'm not sure I'm ready to go there. I talk a good line but I am A BIG PANSY. If this is Green Acres, I'm Eva Gabor.
Can you take goats for walks? I would dig that. We could take it for walks on the bike path and be the talk of the town. And if we have a goat here in time for the party, are goats willing to be dressed as Cinderella?
Yes, it's time for Lucy's birthday party again. I know, you're still recovering from last year, when I threatened to turn you all into newts with a flick of the fairy wands I made as Lovely Parting Gifts. There are no wands this year. There are also no nervous breakdowns, and I owe this in large part to you.
The house is in pieces and there is junk heaped on the porch - in limbo between coming back in or heading to the dump. There are people coming who I've never met. There are people with very, very lovely homes and impeccably appointed lives. And you know what? I'm not worried. Somehow, between last year and now, I've come to realize that this is an awesome place. We have a nice family, a rocking cupcake recipe and some very attractive chickens. What is not to love about us? I've gotten such nice feedback from you, and you've been so patient with my this-is-my-life-GAH! outbursts, I'm really starting to believe the hype.
Because when it comes down to it, lives speak louder than lawns.
So. We will have chickens wandering like minstrels across the grass. We will have ribbons in the trees. We will have Amy Sedaris' cupcakes with pink icing. We will have a clear path through the house to the bathroom (do not look right or left or you will turn into a pillar of salt!). And we will not need a sedative at the end of the day.
I'm really okay with that.