In my dance class, my teacher is always reminding us to keep our shoulders down. She also reminds me, personally, that my clumsy geek is showing. But that's another post. This one's about shoulders.
Because I hear it so much in my dance class, I am more aware of what my shoulders are doing in real life. Once, in Paris (I just love saying that), a friend's husband told me that every time we notice our shoulders are tense we should acknowledge what it is we are thinking about, because that is what's making us tense. When I ask my kids something and they don't answer, I ask them again and again and again until they freak out and yell "moooooooom, I HEARD YOU!" which is really all I wanted in the first place. Our shoulders are like that. They just want to know they've been heard.
When you look at someone whose shoulders are tense, it makes you tense. It's like yawning. Look at someone whose shoulders are down, and it's comforting. Oh look, you think, there's obviously nothing to worry about here. Which may be part of why ballet is such a decadent relief to watch. If life really does imitate art, our own bodies relax as we watch. And we get home and say "honey, why am I wearing this tutu?"
I don't know what the point of all this is. Justifying my dance class? Preparing my husband for a big fat Boston Ballet expenditure, categorized under "physical therapy?" Or maybe just noticing that I have been tense lately about things that are just not worth it. It is what it is. It isn't what it isn't. And carrying it around on my shoulders won't help.