Less than a week before our annual Trout Towers Christmas Sing, Chris did this to our kitchen floor:
At the very bottom you can see the linoleum he pulled up. And by "pulled up" I mean "lifted effortlessly off the floor." It was just lying there, except for the places where it was curling and cracking. It was awesome. Still, less than a week before a party? The man has a sense of adventure, that's for sure.
We have been planning on painting the floor, which you may recall from such hits as this post. So we (and by we I mean Chris) worked and worked to get all the gook off the plywood. It's water soluble, and turned to mustard-colored mud before our wondering eyes. Scrub a dub.
Meanwhile, I had heard about Benjamin Moore's Aura paint. No, it's not for painting one's aura. It's a remarkably sturdy paint that's low VOC. And it comes in pretty colors. The paint guru at our local hardware store matched the glaze on a favorite dish for us - which I think means we can now eat off the floor for real.
So Chris put down a coat of the Aura paint, as instructed, and we all gazed in rapt amazement as the nasty plywood disappeared. Once the paint was dry, Chris put on a coat of urethane (also the low VOC kind, so we didn't have a stinky house). And then we watched in amazement as ghastly brown streaks appeared. Like so:
Turns out, you're supposed to use primer if you are painting on a difficult substrate. I just learned the word substrate and am delighted to use it in a sentence. It is really the whole reason I'm returning to blogging after days of semi-retirement.
A friend of ours was doing the same thing last weekend (urethaning their Auras, not using "substrate" in a sentence), and we compared notes today. Turns out it happened to them, too! Which makes us feel better. Streaky floors love company.
Right! Company! Company is coming! Floor is streaking! Gah! We (Chris) repainted the floor (hahahaha! paint is roughly $900/gallon!) post haste. And then it was beautiful again. But we figured part of the problem may have been the speed with which we (Chris) put on the urethane. So we threw the floor to the wolves and left it just painted for the party. Because this was now one day before the party and we do not have time for this, Mr. Benjamin Moore. No we do not. In the future, we'd thank you to invent products that better fit our schedule.
We have yet to try the urethane again because we're busy eating leftover homemade donuts (thanks, Tony! Looks like I may have forgotten to replenish the serving plate). Ahem.
So. Carol singing went swimmingly, with no unsightly linoleum - especially since we have no wiring in our bathroom and had to light it with candles. I think I'm going to light all unsightly rooms with candles from now on. For our bathroom, it meant we didn't have an orange extension cord running down the hall, plugged into a desk lamp with no shade. It's an accent piece. Feel free to copy us.
I think that catches us up with at least the prevailing flooring issues at Trout Towers. Do stay tuned, I'm sure you'll love hearing about Getting the Christmas Tree the Day of The Party.