‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Friday, January 30, 2009

Good Faith

"No one has enough money to follow his vision and also pay all his bills." - Marcus Burns in Good Faith

Marcus Burns is a Jane Smiley character who leads the other characters on a merry chase by promising them Big Things. And then he swindles them. A few months ago I met someone who made me think of Marcus Burns.

I am getting to the point where I suspect it's not just his boundless energy and flood of big ideas that reminds me of Burns. And I'm not sure what to do about it. Obviously, I need to back off on what I'm willing to offer. But most importantly, I need to stop internalizing the turmoil.

Years ago I was overextended in all directions and had no idea how to make it right. It was a long time ago and I've done my best to not be in that situation ever again. This is stirring the muck and I find myself physically responding and feeling like I used to feel; tense, anxious and slightly queasy. It's like having a waitressing nightmare years after you've stopped waitressing. I am spending way too much mental energy sorting out a problem that is not mine.

Our country has made a pig's breakfast of things by living that quote above. If our vision can only be accomplished by deceiving others, something's amiss.

End rant.

10 comments:

Kristin said...

Damn straight. That's why my husband the shepherd trudges off to his law office every day.

Bella said...

i think you do a pretty good job at it...

Dana's Brain said...

Good rant.

I hate those waitressing dreams.

Kristin said...

Wait . . . deceiving others? Obviously, I misunderstood the quote. Also obviously, I have never seen the movie.

I think "pig's breakfast" is a fantastic phrase and I'm going to work it into conversation as soon as possible.

Susan said...

Kristin - no no, you are right. People who follow their vision should be kept and receive a lavish stipend. It's when they try to do both that they sometimes get in trouble.

I hit publish last night instead of "save as draft." So you got the quote without the explanation. I was in a dither.

Lisa said...

One, you reminded me that I love Jane Smiley and haven't read a book of hers in years. And two, obviously, I have no idea what you're really talking about, but it sounds to me like someone really wants you to be in the position you're in, where their problem is yours. I used to be susceptible to getting sucked in and playing a role I shouldn't have to, and it's a hard place to be. It took me a while to learn how not to.

Unless I'm totally wrong, in which case, just ignore that.

Marilee said...

I wanted to write some brilliant comment about karmic justice and blessings and secret smiles (when you know that karmic justice has been done), but it just sounded lame. And now I've gotten to the end and I don't know how to conclude, so as my sister often says, "say goodnite gracie."

Ms Picket To You said...

first, i love rants. all kinds. second, need to know more. because that's how i roll.

El James said...

Hey! Did you get in touch with Frank? He was pretty hyper about getting the site going...

m j casual said...

First of all, let me second Kristin's appreciation of the term "pig's breakfast" - a wonderful phrase, & one I will add to my arsenal post haste.
Now then, it sounds like maybe there's someone my, um, 'associates', Vinny & Nunzio, should, uh, 'persuade' as regards the appropriate way to interact with She Whose Domain Is Trout Towers.
Just let me (us) know if some persuasion is in order.
We have ways...