‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

in the event of an apocalypse

Every once in awhile I get all "the end of the world is coming! the sky is falling! look, the apocalypse!" and I go do laundry. Because how mad will I be, sitting in a stream washing socks on a rock, when I could have caught up ahead of time?

I didn't do this kind of thing before I had kids, but now, every once in a while, I go down the "what would I do if..." road. Not in a practical sense, mind you. I don't have 5 gallon drums full of dried beans in my basement. I'm more "I guess I'll have to break into the library and steal a book on how to gut a fish."

And then I start to scout out a spot where I can dig a big cave and live like Peter Pan and the lost boys, with smoke vented through hollow trees.

I think I read too much. As much as I love Margaret Atwood, Oryx and Crake totally messed with my head. As did A Handmaid's Tale. Seriously, every once in a while I expect to go to an ATM and not be able to withdraw money because I'm a woman. That story was set in Boston, for crying out loud. Do you have any idea how long it would take us to walk to the border?

I know some people here in town who have goats and chickens and generators and photo voltaics and composting toilets and a hydroponic, solar-powered tilapia tank/endive garden, or something. I sometimes wonder if other people in town have drawn a map to their house, just in case. Will it be crowded over there, or am I the only one who's thought this through? And what if someone has noted that we have chickens and brussels sprouts and has drawn a map to Trout Towers? They will be mightily disappointed, that's what. I'll say something like, "at least we have the chickens" and then a hawk will swoop down and eat them. Which will be a blessing really, as it's a long walk to the chicken feed store and those bags are heavy.

This is all just my way of saying, there is an ice storm out there and I'm doing laundry. The folding and putting away part? It can wait until after the apocalypse.


Lesha said...

I hope the ice doesn't do too much damage. We got a bit here too. Ice is awful! Honestly, one time in NC we actually had ice and we lost power for 8 days! And we had no toilets and no showers and no heat! Talk about an apocolypse! I had to go to work on the 6th, 7th, and 8th day with only having "bathed" in a pot of melted ice dripped off our roof!

But let me tell you, being prepared the next time disaster was predicted made for a very fun cat moment! *think full tub of water where cat usually likes to sun*

Sturdy Girl said...

Ha! I used to think that way too. And once in a while we'd get a mini apocolypse (lose the electrical power) and I'd realize how screwed we'd be. And so realizing this, I stopped planning and scheming cuz really? What's the point? We'll all have bad hair and smell bad anyway.

Kristin said...

I do that kind of "when The End comes" thinking, too. But I think we probably would fare a wee bit better than most should The End actually come. Good thing we have such a big house--I think everyone within a 20 miles radius would end up at Blackrock.

Debbie said...

I am always doing laundry at the worst times. Of course, I am always doing laundry - period.

Ms Picket To You said...

I have done this many times: what will I take, besides the kids, where will I go. And if I have to say: will this 10th of an acre matter anyway, what with the zombies and such.

So instead, I force that thought out, throw the laundry in a basket, and hit the bookstore.

You must read: Encyclopedia of An Ordinary Life.

Susan said...

Lesha - I am filling a tub right now, even though the ice has stopped.

Sturdy - Amen.

Kristin - You are already on my list of places to go.

Debbie - me too.

Ms. Picket - great. I hadn't even thought of the zombies. Thanks for the must read, though!

Anonymous said...

Apocalypse... imagine, no food, no water, dust, heat, no power, no airco, surrounded by wild animals, blazing sun, no one around...?
Sounds like home! (After living on an Aussie dustfarm for a number of years)
Guess I will start my survival training class after all...

silvergirl said...

I LOVED Oryx and Crake and The Handmaid's Tale. I have been looking for an equally disturbing book ever since. Try Dies the Fire...it's one answer to your What Would I Do If? question.