‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Friday, January 23, 2009

perhaps better left unmentioned

In yesterday's comments, Kristin said "you know, Susan, no matter how hard I try, I just can't visualize Trout Towers, with the musicians and the upstairs neighbors and the chickens and all."

I don't blame her one little bit. I thought about her comment and thought it would be fun to encourage readers to describe the mental picture they have of Trout Towers. I would rather like that. Please go ahead and do that, even though I am about to spoil everything.

Trout Towers is a full Cape - two stories and a full basement. Fun Fact! The person who built it made the windows and chimney larger than normal to make the rest of the house look smaller. It is the clown car of houses.

It looks kind of like this:*

Or it would look like that, if it weren't for a few curiosities we like to leave around the yard. Like the lawnmower. And a woodstove. Doesn't everyone have a woodstove in their driveway? No?

This shows the woodstove in the front yard, which would be tacky. Ours is in the driveway and therefore totally classy.

I may have mentioned at some point that Chris likes to bring things home from the dump. Specifically, windows. He's fond of shower doors, but those must be around on the other side of the house because I couldn't find a good picture of them. Also, my mother-in-law's electric cart which we forbade her to drive because she was a maniac. And blind. But whatever.


We are also great fans of the exercise thing and have various wheeled contraptions around the yard for that purpose. Mostly bikes, a tricycle and a jog stroller that birds may possibly be nesting in by now. I do not jog.


And let us not forget the chickens.

Lucky for everyone, Chris took down the geodesic dome he built and left to die on the lawn. It was going to be a garage, but never quite worked out that way. It was kind of an awesome, if overly large, sculpture - until we had kids and the kids had friends and the dome started to look like a really, really big home owners' insurance claim.

So, it doesn't look like that at all.

It looks like this.




* Whoever actually owns the house I used in this illustration, I am really, really sorry.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

omg...i am shedding real tears. no joke. i am laughing - yes but i am also crying...not a "funny" cry but an "omg that is where i live too" cry. i think i peed my pants a little.

Ryan Ashley Scott@Optimistic Cynicism said...

I think I grew up there, and my mom is still screaming at my dad to stop parking the riding mower on the covered porch, "It's not a mower-port!"

Stopping by from Lesha's "The Lost Burp Cloth." She has some very nice things to say about the two of us in her latest post!

Lisa said...

This is the best picture post ever.

JAbel said...

I sort of pictured your place as one of those big old Victorian places like in Psycho with a shabby widows walk atop it.Theres one in North Truro off bayside that used to look like that until they painted it mowed the yard, cleared the cars and turned it into a B&B.I really like the Jag on the roof at least it looks like it's heading there to me.The chickens just complete the look.Martha Stewart would be sooo jealous.

Shannon said...

I pictured a slightly aged and smallish manor with turrets. I'm very disappointed there don't seem to be any! And there would be eclectic collections of furnishings that don't match but still seem to work together. And a parrot in a gilded cage. And a slightly ill-mannered cat. And a rusty, cast-iron gate with wildflowers taking over the yard.

Wow. I had a more elaborate picture than I thought I did. Once I started writing it down it all spilled out!

Susan (5 Minutes For Mom) said...

That is sooooo funny!!!!

Can you imagine if the person who really owns that house sees your post. That would be such a funny small world. LOL

Bella said...

all you need is a few gnomes and some naked cherubs and i'd call it all a masterpiece! you can offer to do other people's virtual landscape jobs. that could be a new business. art for your wall. if people will pay for satellite photos of their homes to hang on the wall, why wouldn't they pay for fantasy landscapes of their yards. it's brilliant!
actually, i think your pretty close to the cover art on your book "My Life at Trout Towers" or whatever you want to call it...

Dana's Brain said...

Somehow I could not pull up this post the other day. I'm SO glad I got to see it because I am LMAO!

Susan said...

Anon - would you like me to illustrate your house next?

Ryan Ashley Scott - I wanted a covered porch until this very minute. Because you KNOW that would happen here.

Lisa - thanks! Your picture posts are beautiful, mine are bestrewn.

jabel - we're thinking about a cupola. It would look better on our real house than on the pictured house and would perhaps fill the role of widow's walk.

shannon - you know, that's how I picture it too! Until I look up from my computer. It is a little closer to your image in the summer, when morning glories are running amok. Also see reference to new architectural feature which would stand in for turrets.

Susan - it will certainly make them grateful for what they have! But they will probably want some chickens.

Bella - guess what you're getting for your birthday.

Dana's Brain - yikes! Did you have to breathe into a paper bag when you couldn't get my site?

Kristin said...

That was just about the most awesome thing ever.

The "tower" part of Trout Towers totally threw me off. For some reason, I was picturing something almost like a lighthouse. This is way better.

Liz said...

Don't forget the statue of St Francis, the B&B, the garden and the hoola hoops. And the waves of love emanating from the homestead...

Anonymous said...

hysterical! i am going to send you a sketch of the Trout Towers in my head. it really does have a tower.
-erica (too lazy to sign in)

Susan said...

Kristin - thanks for inspiring it. And as for the tower, the house name pre-dates me so I have no idea. It just fits somehow. They also call the recording studio "the casinos at Trout Towers" because you kind of take your chances in our basement.

Liz - you mean the statue I accidentally beheaded when I first moved in? That one?

Erica - I cannot wait! Preparing frame now.

Lesha said...

At first I thought I would just skip the pictures. I do actually like the pictures in my head. But I HAD to see what TTTT (The True Trout Towers) looked like. I have to say, TTTT is a pretty sweet looking pad, motorized scooter aside. I've always actually wanted chickens.

Celia said...

Ahahaaaaa. I swear I will get my husband to post a picture of our crazy neighbors house. They make Ma and Pa Kettle seem like candidates for Architectural Digest. They are really nice, but we won't be able to sell our house unless they ahem, Move On To Their Heavenly Residence.

D.P. Gallagher said...

I am surprised you didn't mention the Hobie Cat...

Greg said...

I confess on my first visit to Trout Towers, I was slightly disappointed there wasn't some kind of turret. But quickly thereafter I was overcome with feelings of delightedness and forgot all about a tower.

Cheryl said...

I'm pretty sure they shoot you for that on the Cape so I, for one, refuse to believe it looks anything like that first picture.