‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Monday, February 9, 2009

mood swings

In the Long Kiss Goodnight, Geena Davis has this flash of recognition, which she thinks is because she was once engaged to the man in question but really they were mortal enemies. This happens to me all the time.

Not the mortal enemy part, just the inability to attach the proper emotion to recognition. Not only can I not place the person in terms of how I know him or her, I have no idea if we are friends or foes. Which is awkward. But could be wonderful.

Wouldn't it be great to be able to just ditch your baggage? I would run with it, but first I want to know what baggage I'm ditching and then it's too late. This happens with women mostly because they're the ones who can be mean. But I've lived here long enough so I could just not be recognizing someone I dated. Face it, some were not so memorable. And you can't say "you look so familiar" to such people because how insulting is that? Better to just act as though you're polite. Or in denial. Or rude. Or completely clueless and somewhat in need of a coffee and maybe a pumpkin cranberry muffin but I may be projecting.

I could totally use a pumpkin cranberry muffin right now.

The baggage I'd like to ditch at the moment is not about someone I may or may not have dated, it's about me. Every once in a while I have these quasi-tragic bouts of melancholy (picture me with back of hand held to forehead, lace hanky dangling from other hand). I can't get out of my own way. It's something I've accepted about myself for ages and I just want to take a spray bottle to the inside of my head and clear out those dust bunnies once and for all.

It doesn't fit with the rest of me. As I go along, putting together the puzzle, there are these few odd pieces that become more glaringly obvious as time goes on. They are from a different puzzle entirely, which is why they are so uncomfortable and look so strange. I can't seem to keep them off my card table, but at least I can focus on the pieces that ARE helpful and keep putting those together. Eventually, there will be no place for those aberrant pieces to hide.

I have no idea what this has to do with Geena Davis. Maybe if I could just go back to bed for a little while I could figure it all out. I'll come out if someone shows up with a pumpkin muffin.

11 comments:

Sissy said...

pumpkin cranberry muffin

thanks, now I want one!

Celia said...

I was so busy this Christmas that I saw someone I recognized but could not remember why. So I smiled a big, friendly, glad to see you smile and waved.


And then remembered. It was "hands in the pants guy" from work. He comes to my store and ALWAYS has one hand in his pants. Not really doing anything, just there. So we all avoid hands in the pants guy like the plague.

Ugh. I cannot believe I forgot who he was. There was just this feeling of knowing I should know.

m j casual said...

Melancholy [noun] -
1. a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression.
2. sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.
3. Archaic. a. the condition of having too much black bile, considered in ancient and medieval medicine to cause gloominess and depression.
b. black bile.
Without meaning to get too personal, I'm thinking we can rule out the 3rd definition re: you & your condition as you describe it.
I suspect what you're talking about here is a combination of the 1st & 2nd definitions above.
I believe we all are currently more susceptible to this condition, due to our being in the midst of the old Chinese curse "May you live in interesting times".
As for "I can't get out of my own way" - who is it who's in whose way, anyway?
What you're describing is really just awareness and acknowledgement of the human condition and an understandable response to same.
I suspect that these pieces of your puzzle that don't currently seem to fit are just pieces in an unfinished state - that as you continue to work with and mold them they will morph into pieces that not only fit but enhance your puzzle.
Of course a cranberry pumpkin muffin & a cup of coffee could certainly be catalysts in this regard.
We have a mutual friend who expressed his own version of this malaise in the following manner:
"I'm gettin' a dog
and a magazine
and I'm gonna lay in bed
until they shoot me..."
The pumpkin muffin is probably the better option.

Dana's Brain said...

Oh, the melancholia. I recognize it well. I usually combat mine with chocolate.

Anonymous said...

I did wave back, Celia, albeit you couldn´t see, because... my hand was in my pants.

HITP Guy

Bella said...

if you lived in VT i'd already have lobbed a pumpkin cranberry muffin through the window, saving you the effort of getting up to answer the door....

Kristin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristin said...

I have to re-post. There was a typo in the original comment, and I don't allow those . . .

Profound introspection can be a real bitch sometimes. I have found that my own bouts of melancholy (which occur with some regularity in my own head, but are not necessarily visible to others) are much too often the result of over-thinking, over-analyzing, and over-comparing myself to others. But then I get over myself (HAAA) and return to my normal state of being.

Sucks while I'm in the throes of "the overs," though. So, what I'm saying is, I would totally send you a pumpkin cranberry muffin if A) I baked such things and B) It wouldn't be totally bizarre to send muffins across state lines to a stranger.

Would you settle for a virtual muffin?

TwoBusy said...

"Life is pain!" Geena yells at her young daughter. "Get used to it!"

Which makes her kind of a super-hot assassin Buddha. Sorry: super-hot assassin Buddha mom.

Um.

What were we talking about?

Susan said...

Sissy - I know! They're like that. Curse them.

Celia - that's exactly what I'm talking about. It's sometimes good to know who you're dealing with. Before you shake hands.

Mahavishnu - as always, you have such a way of shining a fresh light on things. Thank you for that. And no, I have no black bile.

Dana's Brain - I keep regular chocolate and pharmaceutical grade chocolate on hand.

Anon - bwahahaha!

Bella - you can always be counted on in times of great need! Bless your little heart.

Kristin - "which occur with some regularity in my own head, but are not necessarily visible to others" is spot on. Also, doesn't your MIL bake? Maybe she could whip up a little something? No? It's okay, I'm good with virtual baked goods.

TwoBusy - What? Someone else saw that movie? She was indeed a super-hot assassin Buddha mom. Not so much in Stuart Little, but definitely in Long Kiss Goodnight.

jenrebecc said...

that was the movie that inspired me to bleach my hair. I WANT TO BE A SUPER HOT ASSASSIN!

(don't forget sam jackson in that flick)