‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Sunday, March 29, 2009

inspired by paint fumes

Our front yard looks like a crime scene.

Now don't panic. The chickens are fine. Since I haven't been writing lately and the last post was about my chickens being threatened by hawks, you may have surmised that the air defenses were breached and a chicken was lost. You may have pictured me dressed in black, with a tissue tucked up my sleeve. That last part would be pretty accurate, as black is slimming and I generally have a tissue so I can wipe a kid's nose before the nose is wiped on me. The rest of it is not true. The chickens are fine, the hawks have been dining elsewhere, and I've just been lazy.

The very first part is also not true because although I always call it the front yard, it is actually the side yard. The front yard is the place no one notices because no one uses the front door. If there is any Feng Shui in our house, it's purely coincidental. I keep wondering about beefing up different areas, but always end up puzzling over which front door is front. Is my Helpful People corner in the livingroom? Or in my MiL's bathroom? Maybe I should look at both places and see which one seems like it's better shui-ed and make that the starting point. We have many helpful people in our lives, so we've obviously put the right thing in that corner.

At any rate, the Yard That Is Not The Front looks like a crime scene because Landscaper To The Stars came by yesterday with a can of orange spray paint. Although she is Landscaper To The Stars, she was a very good sport and designed a new garden for us. I think it was cathartic for her, like when the Pink Ladies finally got to do something about Olivia Newton John's wardrobe.

Except instead of tight leather pants we will have garden paths! And vegetable patches! And cute little dwarf pines! And chicken topiary!

We might not actually have chicken topiary.

Landscaper To The Stars also showed us where we could put blueberries and raspberries. Trout Towers is going to be the land of milk and honey, my friends.

It continues to be a work in progress around here, and now I see that I really wouldn't want it any other way. Yes, there are a few things that could be completed without disturbing the fragile balance of the universe (I am looking at the HOLES STILL IN THE BATHROOM WALL, CHRIS), but there are other things that evolve in their own time.

A few years ago, when my nephew came to stay with us for the first time, he asked if I wouldn't want to get all of our projects done all at once. And yes, part of me wants things done. But the other part of me appreciates the process. We didn't even know Landscaper To The Stars then, so we would have ended up with something distinctly less fabulous.

And Less Fabulous simply is not our way.



In her defense, Landscaper To The Stars only drew on our grass with spray paint to show us where the beds should go. The rest is up to us. If things go desperately wrong, it is not her fault.
But, what could possibly go wrong?


Dana's Brain said...

Indeed, I can see you being all about The Fabulous - but in your own way. Which sounds divine to me!!

Tiny Dancer said...

Go for the chicken topiary. It would be perfect!
They have large animal topiaries at Disneyland's "It's a small world." They are wonderful. Luckily you could avoid the song, which, trust me, is the most irritating song in the world.
Go for the topiaries, avoid the song!

Peace Turkey said...

Ooooo I'm jealous of your yards and your time and funds to landscape them! My front yard is the size of a postage stamp and is mostly weeds that can, at a distance, pass for grass and a few intrepid purple Crocuses.

Greg said...

So, Landscape Designer to the Stars, then, eh?

Happy spring!

Susan said...

Dana - yes, we are UNIQUELY fabulous. In our little Trout heads, at least.

Dancer - I'm afraid it's too late, I have the song stuck in my head....

Peace Turkey - regarding time and funds: hahahahahaha. We have neither. We may still just have orange paint in july, which we will call a garden.

Greg - Yes, that's exactly what she is, at least at our house. If we could afford her, we would have her do some hardscaping and actual planting. What we do is start telling her our terrible garden ideas and finally she runs over with her spray can and shows us what we should be doing.

Lisa said...

Please please please yes on chicken topiary.

TwoBusy said...

The road to the land of milk and honey is paved with chicken topiaries.

I'm pretty sure that's in the bible.