‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Monday, March 23, 2009

ring around the rosie

My MiL's ride just showed up and I came out to say goodbye. I had been in the back of the house getting ready for work - which is an all-absorbing task. So when I looked out the big front windows I said something clever like, "oh! It's snowing." And my MiL said that yes she had heard it was going to do that. And she left.

As they made their way to the car, the driver said "it's not snowing..." I didn't hear the rest of it because they were walking away from me so the end of the sentence may have been "it is RUINING OUR LIVES."

If that was not the end of his statement, this proclamation presents two problems.

1) My MiL thinks I'm a liar. Since she gets a great deal of information from me (yes, all your pills are in the bowl. Yes, your socks match. No, the children are not killing each other), I need to at least appear to be trustworthy.

2) If it is not snowing, we are living in the town directly adjacent to Pompeii. I haven't bothered to go out and see for myself, but if it is not snow falling from the sky then it must be ash. From a volcano. And if we aren't ajacent to Pompeii, then we ARE Pompeii, except it all happens more slowly than we've been led to believe. Ash will suffocate us at the rate of 1/16th of an inch/hour. When archaeologists find a box of baby chickens, lovingly placed on top of our refrigerator, they will think "aha, she had time to prepare for this great tragedy!"

Suffocation by volcanic ash that falls at 1/16th of an inch per hour is diabolically sneaky. It's all soft and fluffy and you keep sweeping it aside and blowing it off your sunglasses until one morning you wake up and.... well actually, you don't wake up.

This is not, by the way, a metaphor for our economy.

Besides, I think a leaf blower would keep us safe for quite some time. From the ash, I mean. I haven't figured out how leaf blowers will help the economy. Except there will probably be a run on them once people figure out how potentially life-saving they could be.

There. It's your Trout Towers investment tip of the day. Use it wisely.

7 comments:

Lisa said...

For me, saying "it's snowing" is tantamount to saying "it's ruining our lives." Also, you are so right about the insidious ash.

Dana's Brain said...

My Aunt lives in San Francisco and after Mt. St. Helena blew her top off I remember my Aunt bringing us little baggies of ash. It was pretty cool. Although now that I think about it, I'm not sure how she came by that ash. It was probably from her fireplace.

Mary Alice said...

I hate that.. when I get smothered in my sleep.

TwoBusy said...

Given that the Cape is rotten with volcanoes, I think your concerns are valid. Having recently seen "Dante's Peak" on cable, I can offer you the following valuable piece of advice: find Pierce Brosnan, and stay close to him at all costs.

Debbie said...

I just don't ever like it when someone disputes me like that.

JAbel said...

I always thought that Corn Hill in Truro was a dormant Volcano.Why does Volcano get two extra letters when it becomes plural as Volcanoes.My word today was forizene which is a new drug Americans can get injected with before visting places like France,Italy,Spain etc. to make them dress and act less American tourist.

Rose Brier Studio said...

It was snowing. DH called and told me so. You have not ruined your MIL's life! It is "cold" here, prolly cuz my mom's house is not insulated and I brought mostly spring clothes, but no snow, no ash, and out here cold is relative!