‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Sunday, April 12, 2009

carbohydrate complex

You know how people refer to "those elitist liberals?" They mean me.

I like snobby, highbrow things. I do not eat anything which involves pork rind. I feel a little ill at the thought of a boxed cake mix made with Coke in lieu of eggs. I use phrases like "in lieu of."

And yet, I am infatuated with mac and cheese pizza.

You read that right. It's just like a spinach, feta and sundried tomato pizza, except mac and cheese replaces the spinach, the feta, and the sundried tomatoes. It is wrong on so many levels, and yet nothing has ever been so right. I expressed this opinion to the maker of said pizza (at Wellfleet Town Pizza) and he said, "too bad you missed the tater tot pizza." Apparently not enough people ordered it to warrant keeping the tater tots handy by. Also, I imagine it was hard to keep from eating the tater tots.

me: I'd like a large tater tot pizza, please.
them: I'm sorry, we ate all the tater tots.

If you take in your own tater tots, they'll put them on a pizza for you without blinking an eye.

On our way home, Sugarplum asked me to make up a song. So I did.

There was no way to know
the pizza chef's ambition
would turn into something
so devoid of nutrition.
And now we are happy
eating noodles and cheese
on a pizza crust, 'stead of speckled with peas.

Mac and cheese, mac and cheese,
Mac and cheese on pizza

If you close your eyes,
slipping into denial,
you can kind of pretend
your health isn't on trial.
Now the scale, it's cracking
but I really don't care
Do you think they made up
our pie on a dare?


(baritone sax solo)

There's more, but I need to take a little nap and digest my pizza.


Celia said...


OMG, what if you fried the whole thing. I have had panzarotti, which is a fried calzone and I have had fried mac n cheese.

I need a cigarette now.

Laggin said...

YummmmMmmm. Um?

They should serve it at the Opera.

Lisa said...

Ohh. So doesn't appeal to me in this moment, but there are other moments where I know it would taste like magic.

Debbie said...

You are so funny. I love the comparison of the pizzas.
I haven't heard of a mac and cheese pizza but pizza is my favorite food. I could eat it daily.

Rose Brier Studio said...

I know a baritone sax player with a killer mac and cheese recipe. He even uses whole wheat flour; would that make it elitist enuf?

Susan said...

Celia - Come on by, I'll go with you. That's the kind of friend I am. Oh, can't make it? I'll eat yours.

Laggin - Uh huh. And that would make it highbrow. Nothing could be more perfect. I think I'll make it the official food of Opera Betty.

Lisa - I will show up with one for you in 28 weeks.

Debbie - I hadn't heard of it either. Thought it was a misprint. Oh mac & cheese pizza, where have you been all my life?

Rose - Yes yes, he can play the solo if he makes me some mac & cheese. That's the way it works in the music biz, right?

Lisa said...

Ooo, I'm coming up in June for a race in Osterville.
I will definitely need to carb load on that first.
I was going to ask if you want to share, but I don't think I'll want to! ;)

Lisa said...

Oh, and by the way, I have the pizza song in my head now!

JAbel said...

I just can't wrap my mind around Mac&Cheese on Pizza.Next you'll be telling me people put pineapple on Pizza.Do they have a white Clam Pie.Now thats a pizza seldom seen nowdays.

Susan said...

yes, it's called "Silence of the Clams." A white pizza with clams, garlic and oil. These people are not to be trifled with.

Oh, and sorry, Lisa.

JAbel said...

Well I see from the link I missed you providing they do have one Silence of the Clams.I'm almost tempted to take a long weekend flight to the Cape soon just to try it.

JAbel said...

Wow you responded so fast I didn't see it before my post!Thanks

TwoBusy said...

To be honest, I'm both horrified and intrigued. And kinda wishing I had an excuse to go to Wellfleet to check it out.

Susan said...

TwoBusy - it is horrifying. Wonderfully, dreamily horrifying.

ZenMom said...

I am repulsed ... and yet, oddly attracted at the same time.

And now I want tater tots.

Anonymous said...

that is the best song ever. mmmmm