‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Thursday, April 16, 2009

volunteer fire brigade

I've been in a bit of a twist lately.

Awhile ago I posted about asking for what you need. About how much easier it is on everybody. Many of you agreed with me, which makes me feel all smart and insightful.

And hypocritical. Because I could have avoided my twist entirely if I'd only read my own blog posts. I've been all "why is this not happening? Why is no one doing anything?" I've been righteously indignant because, by golly, I'm trying to get something done that's Not My Job.

It's a little like stomping around your house, wondering why it's still on fire when there are firemen whose very DNA dictates that they put out fires. Why haven't they done it, hmmmm? Where are they? What do you mean I have to call them? It's their job! I shouldn't have to call them!

Note: you have to call them.

Having to live with myself has been very tiring lately. Poor Chris is being a trooper, but really, he has it easy. After all, he only has to listen to the stuff I say outloud. I have to suffer through all that other drivel. And he doesn't usually listen anyway. He just nods and says "mhmmm. I'm sorry." I know he's not listening because he says this when I've asked him if he wants his egg soft boiled or poached.

I so wish I could do that. I mean, I can do it with other people (please, I have children. What's that buzzing noise?). I just can't tune out myself.

Someone once said "you're not responsible for what someone else thinks. You're responsible for what you think they're thinking." I love that. Because usually? They're not thinking anything like what you have them down for.

At least I hope they're not.

7 comments:

Bella said...

i'll drown out your drivel if you drown out mine!

Peace Turkey said...

When I find myself living in my head to much, it usually leads to a day of weeping for no real reason and a night of drinking wine on my couch. Happens about once a month. It's like the wine and crying cleans out the dark shadows and spiders. Very cathartic, the crying and such.

Lisa said...

I have those times, too. I like to SAY that I say what I THINK, but I know it's not true always. I'm in my own head way too much, especially when running (which is why I listen to music, to drown out my own thoughts.)
Doesn't really work, either, come to think of it.

Great, it's Friday, maybe a martini will help?

m j piethrower said...

Remember that Walt Whitman quote re: "...I contain multitudes..."?
Well, like any other committee, they all want a say in things at times.
BFD.
These voices are like the hall monitors of the brain - it's ok to listen politely & then blithely ignore them.
If you hear a voice that sounds like Jiminy Cricket, though, then pay attention, because that's either the voice of your conscience or a clue that you're on the precipice of being out there where the buses don't run.
I send you a virtual pie in the face in the true spirit of all this.
These nattering nabobs (and be glad you're too young to remember Spiro Agnew) are no match for who I know you really are.
You have made us all aware that such a thing as macaroni & cheese pizza exists, for one thing.
And I've now watched a PBS show about chickens, thanks to you.
Plus I get to taunt your bitter half with asides like "...read about you in the blog yesterday..." when I run into him at Jo Mama's.
As the late great Pogo once said, "We have met the enemy, and he is us."
Have a great vacation - I'll leave a new mix CD for you when I come over to help your mil tomorrow. That'll provide some distraction, if not out & out bewilderment (the CD, not the quality of my assistance)(I hope).

Susan said...

Bella - you are so on. La la la la la!

Peace Turkey - I discovered today that turkey hunting season is in a couple weeks. Please be careful. An orange vest, perhaps?

Lisa - A martini or a vacation, which brings us to. To the Betty Ford Clinic's great disappointment, I have a vacation coming up.

MJ - Thank you so, so much for throwing pies at my MiL during our scheduled outage. After all, who would I rather have flushing their socks down my toilet while we're not looking - our friends or her friends?

It all works out in the end, with our without my tizzy fit.

Dana's Brain said...

Oh, I so get this. I am often wrapped up in my head and what it's blathering on about. Usually it's some past injustice that I think I should have handled differently. I would love to be able to just let that shite GO already!!

Let's all find someone whose birthday it is so we can eat cake and send them a picture!

Peace Turkey said...

Holy crap, turkey season is like, a summer fun thing? What the drumstick!? That makes no sense! None!

*stomps off in search of summer-weight orange vest*