‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Friday, May 8, 2009

Church of the Risen Muffin

In the airport last week, the Krishnas came to collect a karmic debt I owed them. It's been a long time coming.

It took me off guard because he didn't look at all like the guy in Airplane. He called me over and handed me a cookbook, as if to say "surely you remember how delicious our cooking is? Ahem?" Except he didn't say that because he didn't actually know me. He was probably just channeling the chef from the Krishna house where I used to occasionally freeload.

If you've ever wondered how someone would get sucked into a cult, I think I can answer that. Or at least, I can tell you how I would get sucked into a cult, if ever one wanted me. I'd be the one saying "punch? I'd love some!" To date, no cults have expressed an interest. In fact, this particular organization was very polite about giving people a chance to scramble home before the... the... what are they? Services? Rituals? Ceremonies? No idea. I was on the porch, putting my shoes back on.

So. Back at the airport.

He handed me the cookbook and I recognized it as similar to a couple books I had once. I used to take them with me when meeting my sister's flights. I'd try giving them to her until she'd finally climb up on a chair and start yelling for security. Ah, good times.

Back to the present-day airport. I told him that I used to eat at one of their houses. He asked me how I knew about it and I said, "it's the house with all the shoes on the porch, silly." I don't actually remember how I knew to barge in on them at dinner time. It's a skill I have.

Anyway, I bought the book.

And I was all excited about using it, but the very first ingredient in the very first recipe is "4 scraped coriander roots." Are you kidding me? I will have cilantro/coriander in the garden this summer and NO WAY am I pulling it up and chopping off its roots. That's uncivilized. Why would you do something like that? Can you amputate roots without harming the plant? Should I start a hydroponic garden so I can harvest coriander roots without pulling up the whole plant?

This is why I let them do the cooking for me.

One of our musician friends came by the other night and saw my new book. She asked me if I had ever eaten at Govindas, which is a Hare Krishna restaurant. And then she asked me if I had any lemon balm. When I said no, she pulled a small plant out of her pocket. A plant she had pulled out of her garden. By the roots.

I had no idea she was part of a cult.


TwoBusy said...

I always loved that David Leisure evolved from "Airplane" Krishna to saleslizard supreme Joe Isuzu.

Which has absolutely nothing to do with cookbooks, naked feet and amputated roots, but it's too late to go back and erase it now.

(Word verification: inatebl. Where are my coriander roots? Inatebl.)

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

They have Govindas out there?? Do they have Govindas everywhere? A Hari Krishna chain?

Hubby took me to Govindas for our first date. My dinner was one dollar. How awesome is that?

INK said...

ISKCON is not a cult. It is a religion and a sect of Hinduism. 970 million people on earth are Hindus, nearly 15 percent of the world population.
Their food is delicious.

Susan said...

TwoBusy - Do I have to get an Isuzu now?

Steamy - Yes, I think they are everywhere. And a good thing, too. I happen to have a dollar.

INK - I've been waiting to get called out on that. How did it get such a bad rap in this country?

Haridas Thakur das said...

ISKCON is not a sect of Hinduism. Hindu is a term given to the people living around the Sindhu River (It was the great Arab Historian of the 10th century BC, Al Beruni, who mispronounced Sindhu as Hindu. The historian collectively called all the lands and the islands beyond the Sindh valley “Hind”).
ISKCON is in the line of Lord Brahma (the original begotten son of God) and a correct term for Krishna's is Vaishnava's, which means worshippers of Vishnu or Krishna. The only similarity between Hindu's and ourselves is that they worship Krishna along with everyone else. They do worship Krishna and Rama but everyone else inbetween which is not very intelligent. Why ask a menial servant for a favour when you can ask the master directly? The master can satisfy all desires immediately but the servant cannot as he has to ask first and his favours are limited.