‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Friday, May 15, 2009


It's our fault that the planet is overheating. The ironic thing? It's our fault because we tried to do the right thing.

In the never-ending saga of What's Happening in Susan's Bathroom?, we last left Susan's bathroom with holes in the walls and an orange extension cord running through the hall to power a small lamp with a naked bulb. New light fixtures were safely stowed in the linen closet.

In a burst of optimistic productivity, Chris tackled the lighting situation. He hooked up the light fixtures and dashed off for a new switch because he didn't like the old one. The old one is in the hall and I think that Chris, the youngest of three, doesn't trust having the light switch where other people can get to it. That's just my opinion and since it's become abundantly more clear with every passing day that Chris and I do not think alike AT ALL, it's probably something else. Maybe it disturbs the air flow in the hall.

Instead of a light switch, Chris came came back with one of those fancy pantsy motion sensor thingies. You walk in the bathroom and it turns on. When you leave, it notices you are no longer fussing about and turns off.

Problems, in no particular order:

  • Studley is too short to activate the sensor
  • The light thinks we are too pokey and turns itself off in about 10 seconds

Okay, that's pretty much all I've got. I would mostly just elaborate if I kept going. For instance, I would tell you how if Studley got the light to go on (by jumping up and down and waving the bathmat,) the light would then go back off just as he was balanced on his tippy toes and trying to aim. It gets points for comedic timing.

So we use the override option and turn it on at the switch manually. And then we forget and leave it on. For days. That light has been on longer than any other light in our house.

And that, my friends, is how we are ruining the planet. You're welcome.


Dana's Brain said...

I'm sorry, that is simply hilarious!

TwoBusy said...

"Okay, that's pretty much all I've got."

Made me laugh. White flag of surrender: acknowledged.

Rose Brier Studio said...

Another solution: knock those holes all the way thru and get some natural light in there.

Janine said...

I knew it. I knew you were going say the light started shutting off before you were finished in the bathroom.

This simply proves my theory. When you give inanimate objects the power to make decisions you are opening the door to them taking over your life, then taking over the planet and then deciding you would be delicious food for aliens.

Equiping them with sensors (especially things with electricity) is the first step to giving them the power to destroy us. Next thing you know, computers are bossing us around, deciding when they've had enough for the day, crashing at the worst possible moment because their "sensors" hurt or something -Wait. That already happens.

We're screwed. Thanks Susan.

Kristin @ Going Country said...

The bathroom at my last job had a motion sensor that turned off the light if you'd been motionless for too long. This was only a problem if a HYPOTHETICAL person were to hide in a stall and hunch on the toilet for an extended period of time, hands over ears, humming and trying to banish homicidal urges.


Laggin said...

Psst. Shh. I've got a secret for you. It's US who is ruining the planet. Car-man tossed our recycling bins because they took up useful space in our garage where he could put parts from old cars. Thus, we *shhh* do not recycle. (Please keep that secret. M'kay?) So it's not you. It's us.

Peace Turkey said...

This story made me LOL!

Susan said...

Dana - And I spared you the details of getting the lights wired. Oh my lord.

TwoBusy - I never leave home without my white flag of surrender.

Rose - Yes, but the bathroom is very near the outside stairs. I don't want the upstairs neighbors accidentally glimpsing me getting out of the shower, as screaming would surely ensue, followed by falling down the stairs/wrapping self in linen closet. It wouldn't be pretty.

Janine - so we should stop having time trials, to better suit the sensor's schedule?

Kristin - Did it work? Or is that why you live at Blackrock under what may or may not be an assumed name?

Laggin - We were told by Two Reliable Sources that they burn everything anyway and then sift through it or something. I think the reliable sources may have been full of hooey and we should start sorting again. We held onto the bin, to keep up appearances.

Peace - my work here is done.

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