Tomorrow we learn how to rig the boat. I think that's what you call it, yes? We've been learning things via book and dry erase board while gazing out over the water at ospreys and daydreaming about having a house with a view like this, or a boat in a harbor like this, or a house boat, or a... I'm sorry Mr. Sailing Instructor Man, were you saying something? I have no idea what he's talking about, but the view is stunning.
My point being, I have no idea how to rig a boat. I know that ropes are not called ropes. They are called LINES or sometimes SHEETS. I thought when people talked about sheets they meant the sails, since, you know, sails kind of look like sheets. Sheets do not look like ropes unless you have twisted a sheet into a rope and are using it to lower yourself out of a window. Or so I've heard.
Instead of "sheets," the sails are called the Main Sail (not pronounced Main Sail, of course) and the jib. Or, "the big sail" and "the little sail" if you are me and my sailing buddy. We are trying to learn the real words for things but it's not taking.
So tomorrow we'll go out and haul up our mainsuls and our jibs with our halyards. I am told the boats will be on trailers and I wonder if the trailers are equiped with motors, making the little boats rock from side to side in a stomach lurching manner - like a mechanical bull. That would make sense because it's probably easy to remember how to tie a bowline (not pronounced bowline, of course) when you are on dry land and nothing is swinging at you trying to knock you unconscious.
I have practiced tying bowlines on dry land and, if I may say so, am quite good at it. I am also good at the bathrobe knot. I don't know what bathrobe knots are really called because it's not in my book. But I did manage to get our whole side of the room calling it a bathrobe knot. Oopsie Daisy.
Getting the lines to go where they're supposed to go should prove interesting. It looks like threading my sewing machine, except bigger and blowier. I think about this a bit and find myself humming "she broke the needle and she can't sew, walking the dog...." It's a sea shanty.
I am totally cut out for this sailing nonsense.