Today after work I went to join Chris, the kids, my MiL, and the Queen Mum at a park for a concert. And then I left them there.
Chris looked at me with puppy dog eyes and asked why I was going. I explained that I was feeling fidgety. That there were many things I needed to be doing and I just couldn't settle into my spot on the picnic blanket. Also, since I was driving his car, and his car was full of sound equipment (barely leaving enough room for the driver) (not an exaggeration), I couldn't bring anyone with me.
Here are the things I had to do:
Procure and consume a brownie sundae for dinner.
Do I need to explain this? It has to do with wanting something, but not wanting to let your kids know you want it. Also, not having to explain or justify it. Which I am doing now. I'll move on before I ruin my whole freaking evening.
Sit on deck, swat mosquitos and do absolutely nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all.
Okay, maybe I listened to the birds. And admired the eggplant. I may have noticed that the grass smelled like rain. I may have licked my plastic ice cream bowl. But really, nothing.
I didn't have to get up and get something for someone.
I didn't have to tell anyone to put their underwear back on.
I didn't have to figure out what to make for dinner.
I didn't have to tell anyone what I was doing.
I did all of this not-doing until I was good and ready to do something. And then I came inside to fold laundry but instead sat on the couch and read. Delightful, that.
And then the family came home and it was as if the sound came back on. And it went from black and white to color. And it was just exactly as good as a brownie sundae.
Trust me, I've compared.