‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Saturday, September 5, 2009

do not make this recipe

Wouldn't it be sad if I titled the post Green Tomato Salsa and you, not wanting to spend time reading, went right to the making part?

Trust me, it would be a big mistake.

I was taking a walk today and wound up chatting with a neighbor who was out weeding her garden. I noted that I was on my way home to do the same thing. She asked, "to pull out all the rotting vegetables?" which I took personally. Are people walking by my house and noticing that our vegetables are rotting? Have they been wondering when we'd tidy things up? I am busy, people. Back off.

It turns out everyone's vegetables are rotting. We all have tomato plants laden with tomatoes that will never, ever ripen.* My neighbor suggested making fried green tomatoes. She also said she made green tomato salsa.

Since I was growing tomatoes for the express purpose of making salsa, I thought this sounded like a fine idea. She told me to use the same recipe I had used to make my tomatillo salsa, which was spectacular.

So I did! I gathered up all the tomatoes and painstakingly diced them (no food processor). And then I diced the jalapenos and the red pepper (no food processor). After I diced everything (which took me two and a half weeks, roughly) I remembered that tomatillo salsa is often pureed and I could have thrown the whole silly thing in the blender. Live and learn.

I added lime juice and rice vinegar. I simmered it for 20 minutes. I added cilantro (yes, I know many of you hate cilantro. It's not my fault). I let it cool and prepared to freeze it.

The mistake I made was tasting it. Even with two jalapenos, it is slimy and bland. I have never eaten old socks, but I suspect there's a similarity.

"Feed it to the chickens!" said my family.

I think I can liven it up a bit when it comes out of the freezer this winter - maybe add a chipotle in adobo for some kick, and a chopped avocado. I'll have to try, because the chickens won't touch it.


Come to think of it, it might be good ON chicken. Served with chicken, I mean, not dropped on them. I don't drop things on them on purpose, but it is funny to see them wandering around with a pile of penne on their backs. I don't get out much.

So we didn't have salsa on Clean Up the Garden Day. But we did have fried green tomatoes, roasted eggplant,** acorn squash, and goat cheese and zucchini pizza. Not exactly Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, but a fine haul nonetheless.

And now our vegetable garden is free of rotting vines and muck. Scourge of the neighborhood, we are not. At least, not because of the garden.

* For someone whose agricultural experience was previously limited to sticking toothpicks in avocado pits, there's something satisfying about comparing tales of failed crops.

** I did this with eggplants once and now we hardly ever eat them any other way. You slice them thinly (lengthwise), lay them on an oiled baking sheet and spray them with olive oil. Grind some sea salt over them. Stick them under the broiler until they start to brown and then flip them to brown the other side. They are pretty much a vehicle for olive oil and salt. Delicious.


cIII said...

We should have an Ugly Garden Contest.

Newt said...

Why would you stick a toothpick in an avocado pit?

(I wish I could get my husband to eat eggplant)

Kristin @ Going Country said...

I have yet to figure out anything worthwhile to do with green tomatoes.
Mostly, I just let them sit until they ripen.

Oh, but green tomato mincemeat is good, as a filling for pies and turnovers.

Tiny Dancer said...

I love cilantro. I love avocados too. That's all.