I don't mean to frighten you, but things are looking up around here.
I looked outside, thinking I'd give you an inventory of what was all over our lawn. The inventory would go on and on and you would all laugh and say things like "oh you Trouts!" or "there are not words for how grateful we are not to live next to you." But all I saw was a whiffle bat, two soccer balls, a 5 gallon bucket, a dish rag and a beach bag. This is something of a record.
We are also missing two trees. On purpose. Chris and the Upstairs Neighbor took them down last week and I tell you, it's like a whole different yard. In a good way. I was a little afraid I'd look out and understand why those trees were there in the first place. And I'd ask Chris to put them back. I can't seem to arrange livingroom furniture right the first time, why should the yard be any different?
I already told you about the bathroom tile, AND the dishwasher. The dishwasher hardly leaks at all. The fact that it's designed for a single person, and we have 5 to 8 people putting dishes in it just means we don't have to wash the silverware by hand anymore. Which means we can stop using plastic forks.
Thinking we were on a roll, I asked Chris if he could install the stereo so all the wires run through the walls instead of puddling on the floor. He said "I have this idea for a home automation system." Which is always dangerous. He launched into this description of how we'll have an infrared thingy with no visible means of operation. I think we will have something implanted in our index fingers to cue playlists, but since I understood exactly none of what he was saying, it could be a toe.
Our robot vacuum has stopped saying "please remove and clean Roomba's brushes!" every four minutes, so those of us who walk around barefoot can stop saying "gah! ew! who cleans this place?!?!?" Turns out Roombas get in the mood for a little back-to-school shopping, and need a new filter every now and again.
So basically, take the Jetsons, add chickens, shake until dizzy and you've got us.
See? Things are looking up.