‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

the official, non-muffin-top related, anniversary post

A little over eight years ago, I remarked to a friend that I was getting married on the autumnal equinox. I don't know squat about seasonal celebrations, but I figure anything with a name like "equinox" has to be good. Right? A day when you can balance an egg on its end seems to me like a good day to get married. It's an omen.

"Ah," said my friend, "the downward spiral into darkness."

Which was not the metaphor for marriage I was looking for.

Fortunately, I can rationalize anything. I figured if we were going to spiral into darkness, it was a good idea to do it together. After all, who wants to be all alone in the dark? I have plenty of my own dark, and quite frankly I'm glad to have someone to hold on to.

More recently, a friend observed that the equinox is an "apex for change." This, if you're wondering, is why you should talk to the friends who are recently engaged when you're getting married, and not so much the ones who are recently divorced.

Our marriage has definitely been more "apex for change" than "downward spiral." And for this I am truly grateful.

I admit it, I take much for granted. We just live our lives, right? We squabble over who left the kitchen the bigger mess. We go to work. We figure out who's doing what with the kids. We spiral through the darkness. But in the process of living our lives, it seems we've been growing up. Not all the way, but more than I realized and in ways I didn't think applied to us. We are a different version of ourselves than we were eight years ago. And it's way more okay than I thought it would be.

I have always been proud of Chris. First I was proud of how smart he is. Then I was proud of what a good dad he became. And now I'm proud of the adult he's turned into. I could not, would not, ask for a better partner to spiral anywhere with - into change, or darkness or the bright light of a new day.

If you're there, honey, I'm going too.

Here's to many, many more years of balancing eggs.

13 comments:

just making my way said...

Beautiful! I love your non-muffin-top anniversary post. You know you've found a good one if you can go through the dark as well as the light together.

Happy Anniversary!

Tiffany said...

it's always good to travel with a friend. it's even better when that friend is your husband. beautiful post--happy anniversary!

TwoBusy said...

Muffin tops or not, big congrats to you both.

for a different kind of girl said...

A perfect description of what a good marriage is. Happy anniversary!

Tiny Dancer said...

Happy, Happy

Kristin @ Going Country said...

Happy anniversary.

JettSuperior said...

It's exciting, waking on that day each year and finding that not only am I still in love with my spouse, but I still like him as well.

So yeah, I get it...that perspective of 'here is where we were, here is where we are now, myyyy, look at us go!'

Congratulations, lovely residents of Trout Towers. It warms me that there are others out there still enjoying one another.

Mary Alice said...

Awww. Beautiful. Here's to long happy years.

Lisa said...

Happy anniversary! And I do see the autumnal equinox as the downward spiral into darkness. Although I've never thought of it as poetically as that.

Zen Mama said...

Happy anniversary to Trout and Chris. Your writing is wonderful, consider me a new fan!

Zip n Tizzy said...

Balancing eggs is an important part of a good marriage.
I was told that if you got married between Halloween and May Day, it doesn't count as a real marriage. I'm guessing since my husband and I got married Dec. 1, we've just been on a trial run for the last 9 years, but it's working for us.
I'm thinking that spiraling into darkness or not, you've still met the criteria for authenticity.
To a lifetime of authentic anniversaries!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

"I figured if we were going to spiral into darkness, it was a good idea to do it together"

Lovely line. Enjoy your writing.

Anonymous said...

oh! tears :)

-erica