‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Monday, November 9, 2009

the mommy wars, internal version

This one's a little ranty. You may want to skip it.

It's about how fun it is to be a stay at home mom. Sorry, work from/stay at home mom. I know, it's hard to remember that I work from home, especially with my MiL apologizing for waking me up every time she walks through the livingroom. Where I work. Or sleep, apparently, after I've collapsed in a puddle of Fabio-inspired truffle drool. Because that's what stay at home mom's do, don't you know.

Don't get me wrong, it really is fun. I mean, on Saturday I went with the kids to a fair where I got to eat hot dogs, stand around by myself while the kids did crafts and threw chickens (stuffed, PETA) and watch battery-operated pigs race to the finish line.

Battery operated pigs are admittedly hilarious. But if it were you, would that be YOUR first choice for a Saturday afternoon?

Activities with kids have their own, built-in charm. Top of the list is the look of absolute rapture on your kids' faces. Second is the unintentional humor. I'm a sucker for unintentional humor.

But when that's your down time? We have a problem.

The fairs and festivals and parties and celebrations happen on weekends and evenings, which would normally be time off. So you get your "time off" at these Screamingly Fun activities and because you are a Happy and Friendly person, you make it seem Screamingly Fun (remember look of delight on cherubic faces) and the people around you say "oh! how Screamingly Fun your life must be!"

To which I say, "are you effing kidding me?"

So you line up things to do. You make plans. With adults. And then you hope you're not tackled with resentment and an overstuffed inbox.

Which you are.

But it's okay because today is the day you get to go to work like a normal person. And then make dinner and play with the kids and put them to bed. There will be a semblance of order. There will be routine. All will be right with the world.

And maybe the kids will both sleep through the night without losing their pillows or having nightmares about scary dogs.

And you'll wake up anyway, sit on the edge of their beds, and just watch them sleep.

Which is more fun than pig races.


Adam P. Knave said...

See, I can barely keep up with my CAT. I don't know how y'all do it.

just making my way said...

I don't know if I would consider that really ranty. Because you ended so nicely after all.

I think no matter what your situation is, work/no work/work from home/work outside the home, it's all work when you also have kids and family and LIFE. (And we all need to rant now and again.) You are making it work though, it shows in things like those last couple of lines.

Peace Turkey said...

My mom made the decision to be a stay at home mom and took early retirement when she had my sister and me. And was a stay at home mom for 13 years. She went back to work (she's a k-12 public school librarian) and she was SO excited because she LOVES being a teacher. But says those 13 years were the happiest of her life even though it was hard to let our dad be the breadwinner.

I always wondered if I could find a job that allowed me to be a stay at home mom AND a work at home woman if I have kids.

*crosses fingers* Here's hoping.

Susan said...

PT, for those of us who are wired that way, it is the best of both worlds. I can't believe how lucky I am to be able to do both. I also think it's great that there are so many options these days. Some of my friends are diametrically Pig Race opposed.

Good luck! (fingers crossed)

Debbie said...

I followed right along. Didn't seem ranty to me at all. And I do understand so well. There is always that discord inside us, I think.

JAbel said...

I'd love to have the recipe for PETA stuffed Chicken.

Cape Cod Rambling Rose said...

Those chicken tosses never get old. We have a closet full of them, and motorized pigs, too. They help keep me sane.

MsPicketToYou said...

you know, i know

too well and thankfully every bit of this

thanks for making ME feel okay

thanks for letting me look

Bella said...

how i wish to be a work at home mom. someone pay me to take care of my kids! and anything else i qualify for.

and then again the other day i was wistfully thinking about flying and how nice it was to take a break from home every so often...okay, once a week.

kids! you get crazy with over exposure but it tugs at your heart a bit every time you leave them for more than a day!

All Adither said...

I totally get this. Feel free to carry the ranty thread all the way through next time. I enjoy it and know that moms love their kids and love seeing them rapturous. But the ranty part helps me feel not so alone.

Susan said...

All Adither - It's hard to keep up a good rant when you've arbitrarily chosen not to swear in your blog. I find when I write without swearing, the rantiness dissipates. Which is a bummer.

I don't usually rant (here) because my entire family (plus inlaws & household pets) reads the blog and they're who I'm most likely to rant about. Ahem.