‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Monday, January 4, 2010

dear anonymous

"Do we really have to know about this?"*

Short answer, no.

Honestly? I forget that you're out there. I don't call up random strangers and tell them all the details of my domestic life. I don't even do that with my friends. I'm more like the crazy lady on the park bench, telling stories. You're welcome to sit next to me if you want. I will give you some crumbs and you can feed the pigeons.

I write because I like stories, not because you have to know about it. Especially if you know us personally and really don't want to know. Too much information, I get it.

Slightly longer answer, yes.

I think we do need to know that sometimes people are fragile. No matter how confident they seem, people are sometimes tired and broken. I think we need to know that other people, people who like each other, sometimes argue. And that it's not the end of the world. We need to know we really are on the same team and even in moments of fury, we can see what we need to see. We need to know that other people are struggling with things, and finding resolution.

We have too many friends who held it together on the outside and then fell completely apart on the inside. While I respect the privacy of my home and family, I don't think it's bad for people to know that we're not the Stepfords.

It's not a reality show I'm running here, it's an online journal. Come sit on my bench with me if you wish, and I'll tell you stories.

But only if you want to hear them.

*asked by anonymous commenter on last post.

(thanks to everyone who had my back)


Shannon said...

I actually quite enjoyed the last post. I think it's really bizarre to question whether or not one HAS to read something which they they are choosing to read! Maybe it was some sort of existential dilemma? Keep writing and I'll keep reading. I'm still convinced you have a parrot at Trout Towers and I'm not going to quit coming until I see pictures. :)

Meadowlark said...

Maybe anon was having a bad day and it reminded her/him of his/her own angst.

I, for one, read blogs because they remind me that I'm not alone in my weirdness.

Write on, my friend.

raine said...

I'll sit on your bench any day. But I don't like pigeons. I just hope anon never visits MY blog. Stay away - stupid anon!

Trilobyte said...

Count me as one of those who really appreciated the last post. I find it very reassuring to be reminded that other people have fragile days or "need to fake it" days.

(And I think Meadowlark is correct in their analysis of anon's reaction.)

patty said...

So maybe my offer to break legs was a little over the top. I could, however, use the park bench for leverage against the femurs.

But here's my answer: yes, I really did need to know this. If you feel like telling the story, that's good enough for me. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here, silly!

melissa@yummygoods said...

I haven't yet received a mean comment on my blog and i'm sure it will piss me off when I do.

I do share a lot about the gritty hard stuff of depression and anxiety alongside the beautiful design/shop/book stuff. I find my audience wants and loves my honesty. It lets them know they aren't alone. And writing it reminds me that I'm not.

The people who don't want to hear it have plenty of other light, slick, picture-perfect blogs to choose from.

I prefer my blog to be rusty and askew. And I loved your post.

Laggin said...

Can I, with a great deal of respect intended, suggest that Anon bite me?

Not so respectful. I know.

But people hiding behind "anonymous" posts bug me.

Zip n Tizzy said...

Oh this Anonymous... Such a sass!

Yes it's comfort to know that we all get tired and cranky, and apparently so does anonymous.

palinode said...

I love it when people leave comments like that. That's right, keep complaining about the free writing that you don't have to read in the first place.

Kristin @ Going Country said...

Now, will those crumbs be from the cake we have just eaten on the park bench? Because if so, I am SO THERE. Even though pigeons creep me way the hell out. Seriously. It's kind of a phobia of mine.

chicaloca said...

I have to say that I found the last post witty, touching, and a truly kick-ass piece of writing. I think it is brave to be so honest, to take painful, awkward moments and transform them with a pinch of humor, humility, and wisdom. It sweetens the experience, makes it richer, and means a hell of a lot to anyone who may be experiencing similar feelings or situations. So much so that I found it necessary to show my husband...
and I thank you. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow, I just asked a question...didn't mean to anger the cranky blogger mob. p.s. I'm fine by the way. "Anon"

Rock and Roll Mama said...

Oooh, I wonder if this is the same Anonymous, or a distant cousin...

I love Palinode's assessment. What, exactly, would constitute a piece of writing that we Needed to Know? Would it be about the best way to trim fungusy toenails? But what if yours were, like, totally clear that day? Well. You would not need to know. Maybe about the gold standard? But you could be a Communist. I guess my point is, if you like like your blogs specifically targeted to what you need to know, best research them and write them yourself. Then they're spot on. But I'll keep reading Susan's.

Celia said...

Clearly I missed something. But if someone needs a butt kicking, Chicken and I are there.

Kelly said...

Well said Ms. Trout. I generally believe that provokers should be ignored, but this did give you an opportunity to demonstrate your wit and grace.

Anon achieved his or her goal of getting a rise and now has the added pleasure of pointing a finger at your readers and accusing them of overreaction. Wheeee! It's one way of passing the time, and probably entertaining for our dear Anon.

I suspect he/she will try to keep it going a little longer, let's watch and see! *scootches chair a little closer to computer and waits expectantly*

Happy New Year everyone!

All Adither said...

Are you kidding me, anonymous? Why would you read a whole post (a post I loved, by the way) and then ask that question. Anonymous has too much time on his or her anonymous hands.

hggns said...

Well put! Blogs aren't really about "knowing" things, anyway.They're more about experiences. For most of us, life is lived in the kitchen, not the newsroom of the New York Times.

All the breadcrumbs that fits, I say.

JAbel said...

After giving it some thought I think Anon stumbled upon your blog and is afraid it is going to cut into sales of her #1 book.By the way can you see Russia from Trout Towers?

Lemon Gloria said...

I interpret it as a petulant, "I want to read your writing but you're not writing what I want to read today." And instead of taking their toys and going home, they had to voice the pout.

The nice thing is, you're a graceful adult and you proved it once more in this situation.

just making my way said...

Goodness, I missed a lot!

Susan, I love you and your honesty. I'll sit on your bench any time.

♥ Braja said...

Seriously, who needs 'anonymous'....

Jett said...

Dear Anon,

I meant to put this on the last post, but I forgot because I am one of those Flaky Blog People you hear so much about.

Here's the thing: I like dissent (preferably respectful dissent, because being rude in someone else's space is just so gauche). I find that most typically wherever there is dissent there is some form of growth; that is to say, if you're doing it right.

Plus, you know, I tend not to surround myself with yes-men. My network of friends and acquaintances is comprised mostly of compassionate, supportive people, but they are also of the ilk that will issue a hearty Whoa Nelly when I'm sailing too very far off of my orbit or being more of a dickface than I need to be in any given situation. This is true on the intardnets and in facespace, as well.

We all --even the most well-behaved of us-- need saving from ourselves from time to time, that's pretty much a given. The human condition thing, if you will.

Here's the thing though, Anon: The people I bother listening to are the ones that have names (real or imagined) and a means for me to reach them and by which we can further the discourse in private should I so desire. I think when you strip away those things you strip away about ninety-seven percent of your credibility, as well. I mean seriously, who the fuck wants to take advice from a jellyspine? I'm not aware of any people that are that interested in failure, to tell you the truth.

So here's the thing, Anon: You should pick a name. You should pick an e-mail address. You should make yourself available to back up your opinion/thoughts/lousy attempts at trolling. The only place in the world that a conversation should be one-sided is with yourself, really. If something is so important that you have to put your two cents on it out there, you should have your hand out waiting for change should someone desire to grace you with it.

Otherwise? You should just take up a new hobby. A more productive one. Something like, say, sucking rocks. You might just get some mineral fortification out of it (some iron for that courage needed to leave a name and means of contact, perhaps! woo!) and the rocks will likely come away cleaner.

All love all the fucking time,

Jett said...

(haha, 'here's the thing' seems to be where my needle skipped today. that sometimes happens when I am annoyed, sheesh)