‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

sensory overload

I am alive.

And I have nothing.

So I thought I'd tell you all about how things have smelled around here lately. You know, in case you don't have 5 baby chickens of your own hanging out in your livingroom.

They are smelly.

It's the teenagers that are the worst. Two of the babies are 3 weeks old and they are classic teens. They are gawky and clumsy and smelly and I swear if they weren't covered in feathers they'd have pimples. Technically they should stay inside another week but we have had enough. Enough!

You know what else is smelly? Fish sauce. When we were on vacation (we went on vacation) we went to a Vietnamese restaurant and had caramel fish. So I looked it up and lo and behold, it's really simple to make! You caramelize the sugar and add 1/3 cup fish sauce. That's the hard part because when you add the fish sauce to the hot sugar, you have to evacuate the entire neighborhood. It smells like someone lit a hamper of dirty socks on fire.

Studley told my mother-in-law, "it smells awful but it's dinner." I can't believe they ate it. There is no way I would have eaten anything that smelled like that when I was a kid. No. Way.

But enough of the stink! What are we listening to, you ask?

Well last night Chris was playing this total emo song over and over and over again and if I didn't know better I would have been on the phone with the Samaritans. I don't know exactly what the Samaritans do, but there's a sign as you come over the bridge that says "Desperate? Call the Samaritans" and this seems as desperate a case as any. Can't you just picture him sitting in a bean bag chair, in the dark, listening to this song over and over again?

Meanwhile, I'm upstairs wanting to drown myself in the sink.

We don't even have a bean bag chair and he wasn't really even listening to the song. He was doing something audio-engineerish to it. And to do the audio-engineerish thing, he has to play the song even more than I played J. Geils' Freeze Frame album.

It is no wonder audio engineers have all those fork marks in their foreheads.

As for how things look around here, no one has stepped up to be a full-time (pro bono) housekeeper. The house is the visual equivalent of fish sauce.

I trust you will now be more grateful for the next three weeks of silence. You're welcome.

her Troutship


Logical Libby said...

I love cooking with fish sauce. However, all the windows and doors must be opened, and candles must be burning. Strong smelling candles.

Zip n Tizzy said...

Just don't give those teenage chickens the car keys and you'll be in good shape.

Vodka Mom said...

try riding in a car with three girls who played field hockey for 8 hours in the blazing sun.

YOu'll need to be on a respirator for four days.


Celia said...

Nooooo stay and play I misss you. The worst our house ever smelled was when our cat got into the Taco Bell. whoa.

Susan said...

Celia! I saw your name and it hit me - you have your baby!!!! Yay!!! I dropped by and tried to comment but got an error message. Much love to you all!

Susan said...

Libby - duly noted. Next time I will do just that. I bet the family will help me remember.

Zip - oops....

Vodka Mom - Ew. Just, ew.

Bella said...

oh, Marcel Proust come home and roost, and tell us what things smell like.

for a different kind of girl said...

I still have the Freeze Frame LP. I'm not sure if I should admit that or not. It's not like I can listen to it or anything, what with this new technology they call "CD players" and such. I guess what I'm saying is, if it's cool to admit all that, I'd be willing to loan it to you. Or hang out and listen to it at the same time. No strings.

Anonymous said...

So I'm not local, but I can't resist: J Geils - yes! And if so, then maybe Halston? ( I mean real Halston, the early psychadelic Halston.)

The NYTimes is covering a film in the Tribeca festival tomorrow, and they have a clip. Find your go go boots.

Watch for Bianca Jagger right at the end.


Susan said...

Susan! My double black diamond yoga teacher! Do you do a yoga flow to Rage in the Cage? That would rock.

Fadkog - come on over and bring vinyl. Pretty sure we have a turntable in the basement. Probably an 8-track, too.

Bella - I will trade my fish sauce for a cookie. Call Proust.

TwoBusy said...

Apropos of nothing, my kids love "Monsters vs. Aliens" and have watched it about a thousand times. Their favorite part is when the amorphous blue blob voiced by Seth Rogan asks the giant white-haired woman voiced by Reese Witherspoon "What name do people shout out when they're running away from you terrified," and she says, "Susan," and he repeats "SOOOOOOOOOOOSAAAAAAAANNNN..." in this quavery voice and...

And, of course, I can't help but think of you.

This is what happens when you go away for three weeks.

Kristin @ Going Country said...

HI!!! There you are. I keep coming back and coming back, hoping you'll have returned. And now you return just to say you're not returning? No no. I won't allow it.

I won't join in with the "things that smell" category, because I think I could probably make everyone throw up just with the descriptions of some of the things that have polluted our air.

Anonymous said...

I have my days. Recently my best personal practices have involved PJ Harvey "This is Love" and Noonday Underground "London." It's ragin but not old school ragin.

BTW my partner is in stage management at the Met. Do you get into the city?

just making my way said...

Hello to you! Fish sauce is extra stinky - but it is soooo good.

I have recently rediscovered how much I love The Talking Heads and am right now listening to Stop Making Sense. Good stuff. And not smelly like fish sauce.

Please come back before three weeks!

Lemon Gloria said...

Susan Troutness! It was so wonderful meeting you both. Really such a delight. You're even better in person (and you're spectacular here).

Here's to teenage chickens and fish sauce. But maybe not together.

Susan said...

LG (which makes you sound like an appliance) - it was so great meeting you, too! We stopped by tabletop after and lo and behold Daphne was there. If you go by sometime, introduce yourself. She's the one who introduced me to caramel fish!

Greg said...

Awfully late to this party, but I can't explain why...I love every word that spills out of your mind.

"It's smell's awful but its dinner." for the win.

daphne said...

can't believe you made the caramel fish! you are so cool!

The Empress said...

This was wonderful reading! I could feel all the love throughout, even as funny as it was.

Wonderful job, joyful writing, thank you!