‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Ten Commandments, for Atheists

After leading his people through the wilderness for a bunch of years, Moses needed to brush up on his management skills. So he went to a Human Resources workshop and studied the habits of highly successful people. This is what he found.

1) Highly successful people don't worship people or things. They know that if they make a god of something, it owns them. Worship your highest, purest, best sense of right.

2) Don't make something material in an effort to experience something spiritual.

3) Don't name drop. If you're in tight with the person/concept, you don't need to throw its name around. And if you're not in tight, it's inappropriate and offensive.

4) Take a day off once a week and remember how you got there.

5) Don't run with scissors, be nice to your little brother, never lick a frozen lamp post... basically, do what your mom says. Dad, too.

6) Don't kill anyone, yo. (This includes sucking the life out of them.)

7) Don't sleep around. Be respectful of yourself and others.

8) Don't steal. When you steal, it tells your brain that you don't have what you need. Your brain only knows what you tell it. Tell it the right stuff.

9) Don't be a smack-talking smack talker and quit throwing people under the bus. It doesn't help your case. Quite the opposite, actually.

10) Life is not an arms race. You've got stuff. I've got stuff. We all have our own stuff. Be good with that and it will be good with you.

8 comments:

Cheryl said...

Couldn't agree more.

Yo.

Leslie said...

Good to see you again.

And I love this idea. Especially number 1...that's a great way to put it.

Katie said...

Love this. Great rules [guidelines] to live by!

Jett Superior said...

This is me liking this a lot.

Hello, Iconic Susan. Good to see you.

(pee ess, my captcha is 'gickleme' which sounds cute and dirty and fun all at once)

Anonymous said...

Susan, you´re my hero. When I bought a car for Paris Hilton on my day off, reminiscing the day I killed my brother with scissors, trying to get her to fool around with me instead of her boyfriend (who is a complete you-know-what), I thought: I might just not be up to Susan´s standard somehow...

George

Susan said...

Thanks everyone!

Jett, "cute and dirty and fun all at once" is how I picture you.

George - you're totally getting there.

Alexandra Grabbe said...

Glad you're back! Hope all is well. Happy Summer! Please sign the petition at change.org against herbicidal spraying by NStar (See my post today). It would be great if your readers would do same.

Tazer said...

Awesome! Well done!