‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Small things

One
Our chickens aren't laying. We got kind of a complex about it, so we asked around and it turns out no one else's chickens are laying either.

But then our upstairs neighbor said that maybe they were off because the Grande Dame of egg laying had perished and they had all forgotten about eggs. He suggested I put an egg decoy in the nesting box to remind them.

Having no egg decoy, I wrote "decoy" in pencil on a hard boiled egg and stuck it in the nesting box when they weren't looking.

It worked.

Two
Our other upstairs neighbor brought down a plate of lemon squares just before the kids went off to school. Sugarplum took a long look at them before she left so she could describe them on a poster if one went missing.

Three
We've been trapping mice in the have-a-heart trap and driving them down the street to their new home. Since we've been dropping them off at a church we're hoping they're a tax deduction.

Four
I am going to sing in the Messiah. I have a vision of the other singers walking out in the middle, muttering "there is no God."

Five

Six
I kicked coffee and now I can't remember why. I can't remember why because everything's all hazy and muffled and I can barely keep my eyes open.

Seven
Chris has about 97 billion songs to turn into music videos for various bands he's recorded. Turning them into videos requires lots of playing and replaying as he gets all the cuts in the right spots. Therefore, the song he chose to make a video of was "I want a goat for Christmas."

He'll get nothing and like it.

Eight
House Rule: You are not allowed to pick just the things you like out of the Chex Mix. If you want a handful of pecans, dive accordingly. Appearing nonchalant is the key to success.

Nine
Housekeeping tip! While low light is the key to making your home look like you may have cleaned it, super-super-duper energy-saving lightbulbs in your bathroom fixture will make it look like a crack house.

Ten
Christmas is when you move all the extraneous crap out of your house so you can put all the Christmas-related extraneous crap into your house. New Years is for putting away the extraneous holiday crap so you have a clean slate to fill with new extraneous crap over the course of the year.

5 comments:

Greg said...

You have pecans in your chex mix?!? Yum. Also, when is the Messiah sing?!?

Tiny Dancer said...

My husband played me "I want a goat for Christmas." It was hard to be polite. He might have sent the youtube link to our daughter. If I don't hear from her for a while I'll know why!

Logical Libby said...

I am so impressed your chickens can read!

Rachel said...

Love your blog, thanks for the laugh today.

Susan said...

Greg - The Messiah sang.

Tiny - He sang the goat song at the Trout Towers carol sing. You must have sensed it on the horizon.

Libby - We hoped to get chickens from an elementary school egg hatching program, but there's a shortage so we had to home school.

Rachel - Thanks! Glad to help.