‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Saturday, May 5, 2012

From this mother to her daughter

This has been circulating:
Letter from a Mother to a Daughter: "My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionaly lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter. "

Here's my letter:

 Dear Sugarplum,
There are a few things you need to know, as well as a few things I need to remember.

First, you owe me nothing. You have always made my life a better place to be. Your work here is done.

If I am nasty, remind me what I always told you about how people will not be friends with you if you are mean to them.  Somewhere along the line I may lose my common sense.

If I am slow, it may seem like I am paying you back for all the times I hit my head repeatedly on the steering wheel while it took you an agonizingly long time to get settled and buckled in the back seat. Please know that I'm not doing it on purpose.

Remind me that tantrums are not okay at any age.

If I expect you to not be frustrated with my memory lapses in the future, I need to start paying attention to you now. I need to listen so you know how important you are. If I listen to you now, you'll be able to tell the difference later between a memory lapse and just not paying attention.

I know I let you get away with some crazy outfits but please, reign me in early and often.

If you need to hang out with me for more than a few minutes, bring a book. I won't mind. I just want you with me. I used to do that when it took your brother 45 minutes to eat his lunch.

When it's time to stop driving, remind me to believe you.

I'm a little nervous about the technology thing, frankly. Remind me that change is good and that it will continue to happen no matter how perfect I think something was.

You were always fine with showers. It's your brother who screamed like it was holy water and he was the devil himself. Make him deal with me if I develop a fear of bathing.

Feel free to add your own stuff to this list. I probably won't remember anyway.

But I won't forget how much I love you.

Love,
Mama

6 comments:

Greg said...

Awwww, this is funny and beautiful and sweet. An early happy Mother's Day to you, my dear friend. (Now I'm sharing this with my Mom and sister.)

Meadowlark said...

Shared with my family, cuz it made me laugh. :)

(with credit, of course)

Susan said...

Thank you, Greg and Meadowlark, for sharing with your families. I'm glad it hit a chord!

Anonymous said...

Ah, there is always Susan to make a 'sincere' story into something that is so true, but funny too.
I´m looking forward to see how we, in 40 years or so, can screw up modern technology with Alzheimer´s...

George

Susan said...

Trout Towers: Where sincere comes to die.

(thank you, George!)

hippytechnician said...

I laughed, and then I teared up a bit... Happy Mothers Day, to an amazing Mom. Sugarplum is one lucky girl. Love you and miss you both.