‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Needed: someone who knows about nature, lore, or zombie squirrels

Dr. Frankenfox
Dr. Frankenfox

 This morning during breakfast we spotted a fox that had a giant and very healthy-looking squirrel in its mouth. Healthy aside from being dead, I mean.

Since both the fox and the squirrel were both so nice looking, we stood watching as it rounded the corner and... headed straight for us. Good lord, I thought, it's bringing us a holiday squirrel.

 I don't have a single squirrel recipe.

 But instead of dropping it as an offering on our front stairs, it buried it in the garden - while we stood gawking. Dig, dig, dig, stuff, stuff, stuff, poke, poke, poke. That last part was the fox using its nose to tamp down the dirt and mulch. Perfectly.

 Seriously. You can't tell where he buried it. It makes us wonder how many dead things have been buried in our garden when we weren't eating breakfast and saying "look kids, a fox with a remarkably healthy yet dead squirrel."

 Is this normal? Here are our conclusions:
  1. It's a holiday gift from the fox who ate the last three chickens.
  2. Having observed us burying the hamster, it buried its pet squirrel nearby.
  3. It's preparing for a squirrel zombie apocalypse and we should probably move.
Please feel free to weigh in. I'm particularly worried about that scene in Poltergeist getting played out with squirrels rising from the mud.