‎"...a little 'trouty', but quite good" ~ Eve Kendall, North By Northwest

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

The Prodigal Chicken

Once, there was a chicken. And she came to her caretaker and said "human caretaker, please give me the goods which fall to me so I may go and find my way in the world." The human caretaker does not speak chicken, so she just said "nice chicken!" which the chicken took to mean "well, sure."

For three days and three nights, the chicken wasted her substance with riotous living. And when she was a mere shadow of her former self, she thought, "the chickens of my birthplace are eating cheerios and leftover grilled eggplant napoleons with a balsamic reduction, while I am eating bugs and diving in dumpsters! I will go to my human caretaker and tell her I am no longer worthy to be called her prettiest chicken who lays the prettiest eggs."

And while the chicken was yet a long way off, her caretaker saw her (with the help of the upstairs neighbor who actually saw her first), and she went to her, and fell on her neck and DID NOT KISS HER. Because she's still a chicken, if you remember.

And the prodigal chicken said, "caretaker, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I am no longer worthy to be called the prettiest chicken who lays the prettiest eggs, but will you please let me back into the coop where I will be safe from things which are trying to eat me?"

And the caretaker heard, "cluck, cluck cluck, cluck, bwaaaaaak," and said "oh, who's the prettiest chicken who lays the prettiest eggs, WHO?!?! " and gave her some cheerios off the floor (with some squash seeds for good measure) and let her back into the coop.

And they lived happily ever after.

(Add to the ever-growing list of Trout Towers oxymorons, one brave chicken. I have no idea where she's been, but I suspect Vegas.)


Kristin said...



Pen and Ink Calligraphy said...

So, it was just a fall outing after all! Absolutely amazing! I'm so happy she found her way home!

- Lisa

jenrebecc said...

get the f(BLEEEEEEP) out!

i feel like i know need to travel to the towers to behold this miracle chicken. and lay gifts before her.

jjjj said...

perhaps she bested the strongest coyote, and they let her go?

Ambley said...

this is why I love reading your blog.

Susan said...

kristin - Halloween miracle indeed!

pen&ink - you were right! and here I thought you were just blissfully deluded.

jenrebecc - yes please with the gifts. She'd like a spinning composter and a new dishwasher. Then she will grant you three wishes.

jjjj - I think this is a certainty. I'm taking her to the lab for dna testing so we can get the whole story. It'll be on CSI.

ambley - I knew there was a reason but couldn't fathom it.